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Mother-child bond

1 reply

WhiteZebra · 22/12/2023 17:29

We are currently living with my in-laws. After my baby was born I had difficulties with breastfeeding and was fighting for every drop (the fight was lost unfortunately, formula-fed baby) so I was not around her all the time. Moreover she had tummy issues and was crying/screaming a lot, with me having my own troubles most of the soothing/holding in the first few weeks was done by my mother-in-law. I was very glad at that time for all the help (as I am now, don’t get me wrong) but I am afraid that this has influenced the bond I have with my daughter. She is currently 4 months old and most of the time she is under my care now - only leaving her with her grandmother for few minutes here and there. It is all ok but when she sees my mother-in-law she instantly smiles (which she does not do a lot for me) or when she cries she will calm with her at once. While I don’t want to take it personally as my daughter is just a small baby, it breaks my heart to see her lighten up or stop crying when she is with my mother-in-law but does not react the same for me. Has anyone had such experience or can advise me what should I do? Will it pass gradually and she will get attached to me more and recognize me as her mother?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 23/12/2023 08:41

She does recognise you as her DM @WhiteZebra. Babies will often cry with their DM but light up when they see another family member it doesn't mean she doesn't like you, it means she feels safe with you and knows that you will respond to her needs.

I do wonder though if you may have a bit of PND? I would talk to the PANDAS Foundation about how you're feeling.

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