Attention all Alfiettes!!! Which book should I buy??

[chocolateshoes]

Have been planning on reading some of his work but don't know which book would be the most useful for me to start with. Should I begin with 'Unconditional Parenting'?

bump

Hello
Not sure I am an Alfiette but I have read UP and certainly found it thought provoking. I seem to remember F&Z recommended starting with 'Punished by Rewards' as possibly less difficult for those who might find it all a bit radical. But I haven't read it.

HTH

I liked Unconditional Parenting -- the sort of book you read and think "yes... yes... this all makes sense". But it was a little light on what you can actually do instead of conditional parenting in tricky situations (e.g. a three-year-old does need to go to bed at some point) so I've probably become less conditional rather than unconditional. I'm not sure if any of the other books give more concrete advice.

Hmmm...thanks. I was hoping for a few strategies iykwim...I wonder if they've got them in my local (very small) library

I also recommend UP - I really liked that it didnt give examples, rather it made me think about my own strategies based on a change in philosophy.

You might also want to research into NVC (non violent communication) and Gentle Discipline or consensual living. Non of which is permissive-parenting btw! There is a big parenting website like mn in the states called motheringdotcommune which is the online community for mothering magazine - really for non-mainstream and natural family living and I have learnt a HUGE amount about the 'hows' of Gentle Discipline ala Alfie there - it might be worth a look...

Faber and Mazlish (How to Talk So Kids will Listen) is of a v similar school of thought.