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I feel my 10 year old has adhd but doctors and school won't listen

8 replies

Weemaggie · 14/12/2023 01:34

My 10 year old daughter is so funny and caring but then switches if something isn't right, like she asked me for my phone to watch and I said no as it was charging and she started screaming, kicking doors messing rooms and then put a scarf round her neck and said I do not want to be in this world anymore! She pulls at her hair and hits herself and will always go for things in the house you like and throw them and try and break them, I used to shout back but obviously that made her worse, I now either let her get on with it or ask her to go and have a few minutes to try and calm down, she likes it if you start talking to her like a child and she then calms and talks the same, and just like that she will change and act like nothing has happened, she can be so cruel with what she says to us, saying to her big brother that it was his fault my other son died! He was premature and born before my daughter but he was so upset she could say that, she will shout at us in shops, i told her one day I would smack her bum and she then put the car window down shouting child abuser! She is great with friends if it's one on one but if it's a group then she can't handle it and starts fighting or arguing and even threatening to cut her friends hair off! The doctor literally said well she is a child and the school isn't as supportive as I would like, they do have her doing one on one learning sometimes which I know she likes, and she goes to a woman at school and she gets her feelings out, she has a very short attention span, if within 5 minutes she isn't excited then that's it she hates everything and wants to go home, she can't sit still always moving, jumping, dancing without even realising she is doing it, how can I get them to get her tested for any disorders? Or is she just a bad girl? I am at breaking point 🥺

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 14/12/2023 20:19

Sounds like you're really struggling @Weemaggie Flowers

Who have you spoken to so far to try and get her an assessment?

Weemaggie · 15/12/2023 00:00

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto I have been to the doctors since she started nursery school, and they have always brushed it off as her being a kid but I have 2 older ones and I know if this isn’t “normal” behaviour, the teachers are good with her if they are just focusing on her, she might have dyspraxia as her letters sometimes get spelled like a mirror image, but this has never bothered her as her as long as the teacher is there cheering her on to do her best, I have a meeting with her teacher and head teacher on Monday and I am asking if they can help me get her tested as if she hasn’t got any disorders then we have to go down another path as I am not putting up with this anymore, my mental health is not good plus I care for my mum who has Alzheimer’s 🥺

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 15/12/2023 07:32

Are you getting any help with your DM? Looking after someone with Dementia is brutall Flowers

KiwiDip · 15/12/2023 18:47

It can be harder for girls to be diagnosed with ADHD or autism (ASD) because they usually have better coping mechanisms and mask it - especially with ASD.

For the potential dyslexia, it could be worth seeing if they can test for it, or at least screen for it, in school as that might help with some of the concentration issues.

The school should have a special educational needs coordinator too who would be the best one to talk to. If you can't get them at your meeting, it would be worth seeing if you could arrange something separately.

GPs can be amazing with stuff like this, but you have to find the right one. A lot of the time, they refer you back to school, and unfortunately, children don't always display those behaviours in school.

I hope things go well for you and you can get some support. It sounds really tough what you're going through.

Weemaggie · 16/12/2023 01:10

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 15/12/2023 07:32

Are you getting any help with your DM? Looking after someone with Dementia is brutall Flowers

I have 2 sisters but I'm the one that deals with everything, I am in her doctors notes as guardian and take her to appointments and things, apart from my dad who as he lives with her I see is struggling I dont get any other help and I know if my sisters said they would take over I wouldn't be happy, or my mum to be honest I'm always her first call and I will not complain about that 😬😂 xx

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Weemaggie · 16/12/2023 01:15

KiwiDip · 15/12/2023 18:47

It can be harder for girls to be diagnosed with ADHD or autism (ASD) because they usually have better coping mechanisms and mask it - especially with ASD.

For the potential dyslexia, it could be worth seeing if they can test for it, or at least screen for it, in school as that might help with some of the concentration issues.

The school should have a special educational needs coordinator too who would be the best one to talk to. If you can't get them at your meeting, it would be worth seeing if you could arrange something separately.

GPs can be amazing with stuff like this, but you have to find the right one. A lot of the time, they refer you back to school, and unfortunately, children don't always display those behaviours in school.

I hope things go well for you and you can get some support. It sounds really tough what you're going through.

I will ask for that thanks as I need to get this sorted for her sake as well as I know she is so frustrated saying she wants to stop but can't, I am now with a new doctors surgery so I might try with them and see if I get help, I did not know it was harder to diagnose girls, and so glad you said they dont always show at school as that's why I was thinking is she just being a bad kid,
Thank you, I am not backing down now as this is so hard now x

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 16/12/2023 06:37

@Weemaggie sorry to keep going slightly off topic about your DM.

Does your DM have any carers coming in and has your DF had a Carer's Assessment and your DM a Social Care Assessmentt*?

Weemaggie · 18/12/2023 23:10

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 16/12/2023 06:37

@Weemaggie sorry to keep going slightly off topic about your DM.

Does your DM have any carers coming in and has your DF had a Carer's Assessment and your DM a Social Care Assessmentt*?

Hi, yes people have been in to see her but at the moment it's just me and my dad as she only got diagnosed a year ago so is still in a good place but obviously I know this will not last

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