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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

okay so i obviously know NOTHING! how to occupy my 8 week old during the day???

49 replies

chunkypudding · 14/03/2008 15:37

First baby and am struggling a bit - my lo doesn't want to nap much during the day and isn't keen on being left too much to his own devices, but I think I keep overstimulating him by overdoing the 'play'... result, screaming crazy baby, frazzled mum.

I'm not bothered about ramming the poor wee thing into a routine, but could do with opinions on good amounts of daytime sleep to avoid overtiredness, how i can keep him peacefully occupied, and ooo just what the hell i'm supposed to be doing all day really!!!

Thanks for any support anyone can give, please don't make me feel like a total numpty, i used to be quite smart y'know

OP posts:

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EffiePerine · 14/03/2008 15:38

Have you tried a sling? That way you can get on with whatever ad they are involved too. FWIW, I don;t think they get muich from specific play at this age

Habbibu · 14/03/2008 15:42

He'll just be interested in what's going on around him - keep him near you, get out for walks (good for you) go to cafes (I used to walk until DD was asleep, then go to borders, drink coffee and read). And just chat to him a bit. Agree with Effie - play is a bit moot at this stage.

Original poster

chunkypudding · 14/03/2008 15:43

have a sling, can't bloody get him in it properly am convinced he will fall out.

just feel like everything i'm doing at the mo is wrong. maybe thats a bit melodramatic but its doing my head in a bit!

OP posts:

Habbibu · 14/03/2008 15:45

No, that feeling is quite normal! I'd post for some specific sling advice here - you'll get lots of help. One tip - always have book/radio plus drink/snack handy - if you're out for a walk and the baby falls asleep, 10 mins sitting on a bench relaxing can do wonders.

EffiePerine · 14/03/2008 15:47

I felt like I was flapping about aimlessly for the first few months. It settles down eventually . There really is no right way to do this - you just need to find your own routine.

What kind of sling do you have? Some are easier to manage than others... if you're worried, try putting your LO in over a bed or sofa.

squigglywig · 14/03/2008 15:47

Have you got a mobile? Or a baby-gym?

My DD (same age) loves her mobile, and is starting to get a bit more interested in her babygym. Good for ten minutes to make a sandwich or whatever. She's also a big fan of anything with a mirror now!

She naps for about 2 hours in the middle of the day - sometimes more, some less. In the morning she sleeps for an hour maybe. Afternoons - about half an hour, longer if we're in the car/on the bus/out for a walk.

I find breaking the day into much smaller chunks really helps.

Also - bed, snuggles, pulling faces and "talking" are big favourites here!

cmotdibbler · 14/03/2008 15:47

They don't really need occupying - just someone with them. So a long walk to the shops with you gently chatting, a sit in the park watching people play, a cuddle on the sofa whilst you both look at a book, are all great things to do.

Equally, being cuddled up in a sling while you clean/do laundry/ prepare lunch is just as 'educational' and interesting for your ds.

I used to aim to get out of the house for at least an hour everyday, even if it was just to the supermarket and back. DS loved just watching people, but would nap happily in the pram or sling whilst out as he found the movement relaxing.

cory · 14/03/2008 15:48

Oh poor sweetheart, it is such an emotional time. But it will get better!
In the meantime, it probably helps if you can accept that sometimes he will cry whatever you do.
Taking him out in the pram/buggy can help; it's something to keep you both occupied.
I found the baby group a blessing at this stage, it helped me to meet other people and seemed to vaguely entertain dd.
I sang a lot to both of mine.
I too had problems with the sling, got easier as she grew a bit.

chocolatespiders · 14/03/2008 15:48

mobile....

music.... both my dd's have always loved music..

reading books....

go for a walk

EffiePerine · 14/03/2008 15:50

yes, going for a walk every day a v good idea. DS would only nap in a moving pram (grrr) so I spent an awful lot of time outside!

Theya re very portable at this age - make the most of it and meet friends for coffee/go shopping/sit in cafe with book/go to galleries.

wb · 14/03/2008 15:50

Yes, honestly, how you feel is quite normal. With my first I used to it next to him and inact nursery rhymes w. soft toys cause I somehw fet I should be entertaining him (and this was at 6 weeks).

Now w. no. 2 he gets put in one of those reclining bouncy chairs or on his playmat and can watch the household getting on w. things around him. Obviously having a toddler pootling round helps but actually he spends a lot of time waving excitedly at the cheeseplant.

Original poster

chunkypudding · 14/03/2008 15:52

so if he doesn't really need occupying, and i know he's fed, clean nappy etc etc and he's insistent that he doesn't want a nap...

why has he started yelling so much this week?

does he just not like his mum? [half-joking but rather emotional emoticon]

OP posts:

choosyfloosy · 14/03/2008 15:53

Normal to feel you're not doing it right, I'm afraid.

I seem to remember ds wasn't in much of a pattern at this point - couldn't make head or tail of it. Isn't there a thing from one of the routine gurus that if a baby is crying after 2 hours awake, try a nap? I know at one point ds was having 3 naps a day, usually really short ones so that I couldn't do anything much or even calm the frazzled voices in my head

But slings are well worth a try; if you are scared of them, long walks in some form of carrier where you can see the baby (i.e. a pram, if you can find one); better still, someone ELSE taking the baby for long walks so you can sleep/read/stare out of the window.

I found out around this stage that when Katharine of Aragon had her daughter Mary, they employed 3 people just to rock the baby. Shows it was hell back then as well. HTH

EffiePerine · 14/03/2008 15:53

Growth spurt? DS used to get v v grumpy for about a week at a time.

Sometimes they just cry, though...

CatIsSleepy · 14/03/2008 15:54

put him in a bouncy cradle, let him watch you do something exciting like housework? !
or we used to have a mobile that i could attach to the back of a chair and she could watch it from her bouncy cradle.

singing nursery rhymes, with accompanying actions.

short spells in the baby gym (although i can't remember if I put dd in this young...) (very short to begin with-he'll be able to take it for longer when he's bigger)

being with other people was a good distraction for both of us, and helped us both to be more relaxed.

or i agree walks can be good-in theory- mind you dd hated going in the pushchair when she was tiny so a walk in the park was not the most relaxing thing for either of us sometimes...
my dd was not easy at this stage either-it can be such hard work can't it?

Original poster

chunkypudding · 14/03/2008 15:54

and it has been pissing with rain all week

sorry everyone you're all being so helpful i am SUCH a grumpy cow...

a few days ago it seems like he was a lovely smily content wee thing - what happpened?

OP posts:

choosyfloosy · 14/03/2008 15:55

Ah (re change this week). Others will be along to help I'm sure.

EffiePerine · 14/03/2008 15:56

I think you're at a tough time - you;ve got through the first few weeks and the novelty has worn off, but you're STILL tired and the baby is still there IYSWIM - it can get pretty depressing. I can't honestly remmeber much about this stage as I was in a sleep-dperived fog. Can youget someone else to take him out for a walk so you can get a break?

squeaver · 14/03/2008 15:56

Baby gym! Baby gym! Baby gym! Spend as much as you can on one! And it sounds like you need to get out of the house a bit more. They are so portable at that age. And don't worry, it will get easier!

choosyfloosy · 14/03/2008 15:57

You sound very, very miserable and upset tbh. Does anything make you feel better? For me it was being with other people? My mum was with me pretty much one full day every week as well - I was lucky. But tbh I still shudder when I think of this stage. Sorry, I'm really not much help at all.

It's a phase, it's a phase, it will pass. But try your HV. And your mum. And your MIL. and your siblings. And your antenatal friends. And your GP. And us.

PerkinWarbeck · 14/03/2008 15:58

mine wasn't much of a sleeper either. I think that my DD was at her most unsettled at around 8-12 weeks, and then things got better. slowly, but they did!

she did like a change of scene, and a ride in the buggy. so we did: supermarket, park, gallery/museum, cafes. Definitely agree with catissleepy that everything seems a bit more bearable if you're in good company.

squeaver · 14/03/2008 16:00

Even if it's raining, put the rain cover on the pram; put on a raincoat and walk with him. The fresh air will put him to sleep and then you can stop and have a coffee. I can't emphasise enough - from my own experience -just how important it is for you both to get out of the house.

EffiePerine · 14/03/2008 16:00

Do you have a local NCT postnatal group? I didn;t do the antenatal group, but I found the postnatal one really helpful (it was a coffee morning type thing). There should be details on teh NCT website.

peacelily · 14/03/2008 16:05

I had BIG probs with my dds daytime sleeps at this age, she just wouldn't go down for a nap in the afternoon and cried and cried.

Just re-iterating all the advice already said, sling, walk and company. My dd used to like being read to or being sung to very softly. The baby gym was good for 20 mins or so and she used to like her bouncy chair too.

They don't need toys really it's an education just observing everything.

bb99 · 14/03/2008 16:10

Lots of fresh air - do you have any trees that you can park a pram under in the garden, sometimes they like watching them from the pushchair and the air sometimes makes them sleepy...and you can rock the pushchair / pram backwards and forwards and have a cup of tea / read a book (I used ti use a foot to push the buggy backwards and forwards IYSWIM)

It passes, promise you, and it does get better with more sleep!

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