toddler won't feed himself

[justamum98]

hi, I have a 20 month old - he refuses to feed himself.

• I have seen him use a spoon before so he understands what it's for. but at every meal, I have to feed him.
• He doesn't get any snacks between meals as ive been told if he hungrier then maybe he will be more eager to feed himself if I don't do it for him. doesn't seem to work to be honest.
• he doesn't even feed very well when I do it, he will pull away at every mouthful and scream the place down. every meal is an absolute nightmare.
• he's the fussiest toddler I know, can't even get him to eat toast, literally every day he refuses EVERYTHING I make him.
• he does really well with snacks of course... doesn't mind feeding himself when snacks are on the go.
• he can't even say one word yet so its not like he can tel me what he wants to eat.

any advice??

Ok so if he's 20 months and not speaking or eating has the HV referred him for a hearing test and SLT yet?

How did he score on his 12 month check?

He’s always scored perfectly on his checks. And No, because he understands Everything. He understands when I ask him to do something etc. So his hearing isn’t the problem. He’s quite clever actually, numbers wise etc - he just can’t speak yet. It’s common in my family for boys to not speak until 2 1/2.

Are you in the UK @justamum98?

I am yes @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto

Are his snacks the typical melty puffs, baby crisps, cereal bars, rice cake and other processed baby junk food.
If this is the case, more than a spoon, finger , or feeding issues, it is just a matter of food preferences . As long as the ultra processed foods are there, there will be a refusal of real food. Give him snacks, if you want, but not from a packet .

Given that you're concerned enough to ask on here it might be time to look at some support.

Talking late might be the norm in your family, but I'd still ask your to refer him to SLT. Not only will they be able to help him to speak like his peers but they can rule out a physical cause for not eating. Just out of interest, has he ever been assessed for Tongue Tie?

Although I think there might be a possibility that he could have ARFID. Have a read up on it and see what you think.

With his late talking and fussiness with food, did the HV mention the possibility of ASD? I would do the MChat and see if he has any risk

Hi, I’ve had the health visitor out yesterday and she thinks he is absolutely fine. He understands everything you say to him, he’s just not in any rush to start talking.

as for the eating she said it’s behavioural. Gave me some tips to work on it. So far so good 🤞🏼

Hi any update with your little one ? ☺️

Hi
same boat with my dd who’s 17 months . How’s your little one doing now ? Has he improved in his eating ?

Hi any updates ?

Hi, yes all improved. He eats food himself when around children but at home he’s quite lazy and hates sitting at the table so we have to make it fun for him. He has started talking 2 weeks ago and he is nearly 3

Thank you so much for your update xx so it was completely normal ? It was a matter of time and going at your DS’s pace ? ☺️

Yeah exactly that. He went to speech therapy but they decided to release him purely because they didn’t feel like he was lacking understanding of words. If he was not responding or doing things when asked they would be worried but yeah he just started talking on his own. Not exaggerating when I say he woke up one morning after Christmas and said a word. Got excited about it and it just snowballed from there.

Thank you again .. would you mind sharing what sort of instructions your DS uses to follow before two ? ☺️