3yo having violent outbursts

[Hmcg8180]

Hi everyone,

just looking a bit of guidance. My 3yo is having a tough time at the moment with violently attacking myself and his dad, as well as my parents when he is not getting his way. It’s been a couple of months now where the behaviour has escalated from hitting to biting to now pulling our hair out from the root, all while manically screaming. It can last 5-30 minutes and is pretty much every day now.

I have tried everything to calm him down, but am at a loss as to what is going to be effective. I have the health visitor coming next week for a home visit, as I just can’t take seeing him so upset. Otherwise he is a very happy, friendly boy with brilliant speech, play skills, fantastic eater and is a dream when it comes to sleep!

if anyone has experience with this type of behaviour, please please share how you coped or what the support from HV looked like 💕

That's a really long time for him to be attacking you and it's a lot of people to attack. What do you do @Hmcg8180 when he's attacking you or another member of your family?

likely doing it because he doesn’t have language to express his needs. My DC has very advanced language but still struggles with emotional regulation because she has trouble identifying and saying what she needs to calm down. I can’t make her calm down, you can’t make your son. He has to start recognizing the building feeling and expressing what he needs before blowing up.

Recommend reading The Whole Brained Child and The Spirited Child.

Eggspressions might help him identify how he's feeling and the book I Am Angry by Michael Rosen or My Many Coloured Days by Dr Seuss might help him to identify how he's feeling.

Agree that language can okay a huge part in anger. My DD simply has no language to express how she's feeling.

How's your DS' speech and language? There's a simple progress checker here