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Behaviour/development

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Won't get dressed

4 replies

TooOldToBeCool · 29/11/2023 10:13

Please help me.

My nearly four year old won't get dressed. She makes a fuss about getting ready, usually her socks, every single day, and has done since she was 1. I am going insane.

I've tried everything. Like everything and nothing works. I don't expect her to be obedient and do exactly what I say first time always, but I also can't spend hours on getting her ready every day, or just physically dressing her while she screams, any more. It's not sensory issues. We always get her dressed one way or another in the end so it's not like she thinks if she kicks off she won't have to put her socks on or brush her teeth etc, that's literally never happened, and yet she still does it every single day.

Every day starts with a battle. I start positive and playful every day and it still doesn't help.

Today has been 45 minutes of trying to make her wear a top. We haven't even got to socks yet. It's a struggle to leave the house every day. And I work (luckily usually from home).

What can I do? I'm hoping I'm just a crap parent and there's something obvious I haven't tried.

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BeckyH123 · 29/11/2023 10:32

Firstly you are not a crap parent! Toddlers are sometimes a big struggle trust me I know!

Sometimes my DD who is three can be a struggle getting dressed, have you tried getting her to choose what to wear? My DD would hate getting dressed but since she got to choose what to wear she hasn't been as challenging! I bring three dresses down and she chooses which one,

My DD will now only wear dresses that she can twirl in and tights, she has always hated socks however randomly likes tights?!

Also, distraction is a massive help, either talking to her or putting her fave programme on! Also beating daddy to get dressed sometimes helps (she is very competitive)

Also if she has these mega tantrums getting dressed just walk out of the room close the door behind you and just wait for her to stop having her tantrum, works a treat for me!

TooOldToBeCool · 29/11/2023 15:07

Thank you so much for your reply.

I feel awful leaving her mid tantrum, but I think me being there (either calm or a bit cross) only ever fuels it further when she's getting dressed.

I've rearranged her room so she can easily pick out her own clothes as the 'this one or this one' wasn't working any more. She's decided against tights this winter, I was really hoping she'd wear them as them as she loved dresses all summer and it's fewer variations/items to put on.

I feel a bit better hearing that it's not just her who's like this. I'd hoped that by nearly 4 (early Jan) this sort of nonsense would be on the way out, but today was just horrid

OP posts:
Blackcountryexile · 29/11/2023 15:14

OP you have my sympathy! Do you think it would help if she went with you to buy clothes or perhaps chose from pictures online that you had pre selected? That seemed to work with my "strongminded" 3 year old.

BeckyH123 · 30/11/2023 08:19

Oh yes don't worry it is 100% not just you going through this!

My DD was late for nursery the other morning because she didn't want to get dressed! Just hang in there one day this will be over!

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