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Behaviour/development

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Autism or ADHD ...?

7 replies

WoriedMama · 21/11/2023 07:09

Our son just turned 3, he started showing symptoms of autism or ADHD from around 2nd birthday. Milestone when other children would start speaking, he spoke some single words, but didn't show desire to verbally interact. We are waiting for our evaluation in December (ADOS), but for the last 6 months as a worried mum I was trying to figure out what it was exactly that our son has... It is so confusing! Is it autism or ADHD..?? Any experience..?
At 37 months (just turned 3 years) :

  • loves to be around people, he is quite social, but not verbally. He keeps following where we are and wants us to be where he is - takes us by the hand.
  • he adopts new people very easily. Immediately blended in at kindergarten, as soon as he met new nannies - best friends from day 1 with both of previous nannies. Very easy going.
  • he never pointed, always hand lead ( but we never encouraged hand pointing specifically...)
  • loves cuddles and kisses, when he is sad he comes and asks "hug"
  • has significant speech delay, communicates with single word or at most 2 word combinations (let's go/ brush teeth), but knows his abc perfectly, recognises all letters, can count 1-30 and recognises numbers, knows a lot of words when presented word cards, knows all colours etc m. Often sings songs from tv (echolalia..?), sometimes blurts our random words without context
  • he understands what we say to him, but seems that he chooses to ignore us. When I ask questions- never responds. Have to ask same question 20 times to maybe get a response.
  • sometimes has great eye contact, other times totally avoids looking at my eyes. Sometimes responds to his name immediately, other times - totally ignores and is busy with something else.
  • does not stay playing with the same thing for long, gets bored easily / distracted easily
  • climbs on everything, doesn't listen ever and keeps doing naughtily and dangerous stuff
  • very giggly and happy kid overall. Always greets with a smile and a hug and "mummy!" Or "daddy"
  • always fidgety , impossible sometimes to read a book for him, he is always on a move like he has ants in his pants
  • loves running, walking and all the physical stuff, lives to play rough (when dad throws his around etc)
  • fussy eater
  • gets very angry is doesn't get his way or there is a change to what he expected that will happen (change of plan)
  • not observed any repetitive behaviours other than occasional he looks from the corner of the eye, sometimes when he is playing, sometimes when he is just sitting and eating and "messing about" ( he is not running in same patters, he is not lining-up toys etc..)
OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 21/11/2023 07:28

No one can diagnose from your post but he does sound a lot like my DD at that age. She's currently in the Pathway and they think she has both along with ARFID and Dyslexia. We've been told that she's showing some "significant ASD traits" and diagnosis shouldn't come as a surprise.

Very happy though. She's at college, doing a sport, has a BF and a job. I didn't think any of that would ever be possible at 3.

Raeleigh24 · 21/11/2023 07:57

@WoriedMama

how is/was his social referencing
his joint attention
sharing things with you?

I don’t have any advice just wondering because my ds is almost 16 months so a bit younger and he doesn’t really point much never pointed to request anything so far but will point to things that interest him sometimes, pointing is a very important milestone from what iv read but equally so are the others I listed above apparently.

WoriedMama · 21/11/2023 08:16

@Raeleigh24 your little one is still very young, I also have a DD 15 months old and she is absolutely social little butterfly that is amazing with eye contact, ration to her name etc, but she rarely points, has done maybe few times, but I am not worried about it, I am sure it will come with time.

My 3 year old DS can interact when he wants to. At this age apparently it's not that natural for children to share things, but he does for sure want to share his food etc. maybe that's because he doesn't want to eat it himself.. Blush He does sometimes come to me and takes me when he need help to show what it is that I need to help him with. Says verbally "up" and looks that direction if he needs something taking from high up . I remember there was a few instances when he actually pointed to the top of the cupboard.

OP posts:
tostaky · 25/11/2023 17:27

I wonder if there are any baby grouos for children with special needs in your area? It may be comforting to talk to other local mums who have been in your position.

WoriedMama · 25/11/2023 17:51

@tostaky I found out, that one of two DS's teachers at kindergarten actually has a son with autism and she is more than capable to deal with such children. That gave me a huge deal of relief. And the entire outlook to such kids is just so lovely from the both teachers and the school. She told me that it is too early to tell from the first few weeks at kindergarten if he is autistic or not, because it is still an integration period and kids behave differently during such time. Plus spectrum is very wide and her experience could be totally different to what we are experiencing. 1 week left till the evaluation and I am killing my nervous system by looking at various videos online on children with autism and how they grow up to be adults... i just want this all to be done with, so that I know what I should do.

OP posts:
WoriedMama · 20/01/2024 18:01

An update on here. We did ADOS test and it turns out DS is borderline autistic. Doesn't quality enough to diagnosis, however we were advised to start ABA therapy in order to help him to catch up with age group. To our total shock- after a first 2 sessions in ABA therapy (4hours) he has started holding a perfect eye contact and responded to his name. At this present moment we have attended 25 sessions (2hours each) and the difference in our child is incredible. He started communicating with us, can answer simple questions (yes,no), can communicate basic need "I want diaper change; I want cookies " etc. For us this therapy was life changing. And currently we have only near to completion of the 1 out of 4 blocks (which is mainly eye contact, connection and attention). Next block is communication and speech, which I am the most excited about. Of course it is all private and costing us a fortune, but it bought me back my health and peace of mind and I know that we still have a lot of work, but how it helped our son- is priceless

OP posts:
Whothatbe · 22/02/2024 14:14

@WoriedMama How is your son doing now?

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