Soiling

[Aprildownpours]

Hello everyone,
My husband and his ex-wife are having challenges with their 11 year old son cleaning himself after going to the toilet. This isn't new - he hasn't ever been great but as he gets older their concerns are growing. They have been apart since he was 3 and both me and his stepdad have been around for 3 to 4 years. He has an older sister and there is also a little sister from their mum and stepdad's marriage.

They (we) have tried lots of things and communicate so we do the same things, but he seems to lack any interest. He hasn't any developmental or neurobiological challenges that are obvious (we are all healthcare professionals and his maternal grandmother was a health visitor). Any suggestions anyone? All ideas would be gratefully received. We are worried about secondary school next September.

He hasn't any developmental or neurobiological challenges that are obvious

I'd say lack of interest in person hygiene was worthy of investigation. What does his Teacher say?

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto (love siouxsie btw). She hasn't. Which suggests it's not a problem at school.

Have his DPs specifically booked an appointment to discuss the problems he's having though? Has the School SENCO assessed him?

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto no they've not done this. Perhaps that's first step then.

I think a meeting with the Teachwr to discuss the soiling and how he is socially and if they have any concerns is a good first step.

Soiling could be due to Constipation, the ERIC Website is an excellent resource. Most DC very quickly understand that smelling is not cool. With smaller DC, they don't have much choice if they smell or not but at 11 I'm assuming that you provide nice toiletries and clean clothes that he's chosen himself and has access to a shower?

Does he know how to use the walking machine?

Yes, clean clothes and no fuss made. It isn't just not wiping it's also occasional 'lumps' so not keen to encourage him to put clothes straight in washer, but unfortunately, however, he does not seem to mind smelling.

Equally unfortunate, the soft furnishings smell too now. We remain patient.

Soiling himself is not usual. Has your DH taken him to the GP to see what the cause is?

His mum's doing that on Friday.
Thanks @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto