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Very violent meltdowns nearly 5 year old.

3 replies

gemloving · 15/11/2023 17:38

My heart bleeds today. Picked him up from school with his younger brother, we went to the hairdresser and because his brother is only 2 and he's not allowed to scoot to school yet, I said let's go on a bike ride and scooter ride around the block before it gets dark. We go the same sort of way every time, there is a part where I want him to stop and he does know. We can't scoot on that part so he's a lot faster. I called him to stop, again no response so raised my voice (not in an aggressive tone) but he got so angry. The meltdown went on for a good 10-15 minutes and he kept attacking me, hitting me with his fists with all his might, kicking me.

What I do is keep his brother safe first of all, then I tell him that I won't let him hit me so I protect / shield and sometimes he is being pushed because I protect myself whilst repeating myself that I won't let him hurt / hit/ kick / bite me. After about 2 minutes and several people having walked past, I welled up myself. It's such hard work at times.

He's doing brilliantly at school since starting reception, teacher says he's the best boy? loves bugs and being outdoors, everything about the world and how the world works, everything under the sea, the solar systems etc.

He's not into play fighting, Spider-Man or anything like that but he can be so violent. Both of us don't actually know where it comes from as I hate violence & never experienced it growing myself, neither has my husband. I have a two year old and he's very different. I can see how he's just like me, he also looks like me.

It's really really hard. I am starting to dread pick up because the meltdowns are so hard to manage, not necessarily physically but emotionally. I tiptoe around my own child, worrying I say something wrong. I don't think what I said helped yesterday and it wasn't fair. I said if his behaviour doesn't change I have to put him in after school club which is just outright mean. Not proud of that.

OP posts:
ExplodingSmittens · 15/11/2023 20:03

Had you considered that he may be Nd and these are meltdowns because he simply can't cope? My DC2 is on the pathway and reacts very strongly to any raised voice Flowers

gemloving · 15/11/2023 20:13

@ExplodingSmittens it has crossed my mind but I always felt as though his signs aren't strong enough to get diagnosed especially because he masks in school and is the happiest boy and he can be the happiest boy at home too. I found the summer so much easier to manage as he was just busy in the garden. It gets dark very early so not so many possibilities on doing things outside which we all like.

OP posts:
ExplodingSmittens · 15/11/2023 20:49

My DC2 was an ages at school and is usually relaxed at home in the holidays too. The meltdowns at home can be awful though.

I'd download the 5 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and see if your HV will have a look him and score it for you.

In my he meantime, have a look at The Explosive Child Flowers

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