My 4 year old getting kicked out of daycare

[lovelythings10]

Not sure if my first post posted. My son is 4 years old and has had behavioral problems. He has been kicked out of 5-6 different daycares. He's behavioral problems are hitting, spitting (which has gotten a bit better in not doing it so much) and just gets aggressive when something doesn't go his way. If he feels the need to throw things in the floor, he will. I've taken him to ABA centers to get him evaluated and it came back positive, meaning no Autism, which is great news of course. I am now waiting on a neurologist appointment in December but I have no daycare. No one will work with him, no effort to try and calm him down. I am on the verge of losing my job. I'd hate to lose it because it will put us in a very very tight situation due to the economy. Any suggestions, any recommendations or just anything? I feel like we are alone on this. I don't know what else to do.

Are you in the UK? Some of the terms you use make me think perhaps not? Here I would be suggesting an appointment with with the health visitor and/or GP to see about a referral for a broader evaluation of possible special needs.

In terms of childcare, I can see why private settings aren't keen to have him – that sort of behaviour puts them at risk of losing other clients, since parents who might be understanding that two-year-olds do sometimes hit are likely to be less understanding when it's a four-year-old. If in the UK, have you tried a school nursery? He'd be entitled to a certain amount of preschool education, so a bit less easy for them to ask him to leave. How useful that is depends on how much you work, though. About the only other option that comes to mind is a nanny, but that's obviously expensive.

No, I am in the US. I was looking into VPK which is preschool here but his birthday is after September 1st which makes him not eligible until next year. That is like my only option but it's not available yet unfortunately. I am really in trouble here...

I'm so sorry that you're struggling so much @lovelythings10.

Most of my experience is in the UK so I'm not sure if I can help much

How are you handling him when he does these things? Have any of the daycares told you anything to try to help?

I'm sorry to hear that your 4-year-old is facing challenges at daycare. It can be a difficult situation for both you and your child. Here are some steps you might consider taking:

1. *Communication with the Daycare:*

- Reach out to the daycare staff to understand the reasons behind your child being asked to leave. Open communication can provide insights into any issues and potential solutions.

1. *Discuss the Situation:*

- Have a conversation with your child to understand their perspective and feelings about daycare. They might be facing challenges or difficulties that could be addressed.

1. *Seek Guidance:*

- Consult with the daycare staff or administrators to see if there are specific behaviors or situations that led to the decision. Ask for guidance on how to address these issues.

1. *Collaborative Solutions:*

- Work together with the daycare to find solutions. This might involve implementing strategies much........ at home to address behavioral issues or seeking additional support for your child

1. *Consider Alternative Care Options:*

- If necessary, explore alternative daycare options that might better suit your child's needs. Not every daycare environment is the same, and finding the right fit is important for your child's well-being.

1. *Professional Help:*

- If behavioral issues persist, consider seeking guidance from professionals such as pediatricians or child psychologists who can provide insights and strategies to support your child's development.

1. *Review Daycare Policies:*

- Understand the daycare's policies and ensure that both you and the daycare are on the same page regarding expectations and guidelines. Remember that each child is unique, and finding the right environment for their social and emotional development is crucial. Open communication, collaboration with the daycare, and a supportive approach can help navigate these challenging situations.I hope this informative for you

The daycares have not communicated correctly with me. They start communicating once they are about to kick him out. I've never gotten any kind of suggestion from them only the "he needs to be diagnosed". The meetings I've had have been to let me know "this is his last week". No support at all from any daycare. I work but I am the most communicative mother when it comes down to my kids teachers but daycares lately have been so unsupportive. I've put him in a in-home daycare which only had three 3 and he was happy the first three days and then he wouldn't want me to drop him off and when I did, he was so furious and started to throw things on the floor crying. When I got there, he was sitting down in his little couch crying and wanting to go home with me. That was the last place he was kicked out of. We do time out at home and try our absolute best to correct his behavior since he has two bigger siblings. At this point, I have created a neurologist appointment but it's not until December 27 and that's where my problem is with my job. I will have to speak with my boss and see what they can do to buy me time. Thank you for your input.

We are doing time out. Correct him when he hits his sister and talk to him to instead of hit, ask for things or to tell me. Any other suggestions?

Sometimes especially with violence a sharp no nonsense scolding does a lot more then talking. I mean no offense to you so please don't take any. Not saying what you should do only saying what I would do. Which is come down like a ton of bricks and make sure every single time he does it he's scolded and knows its not on and removed from the the fun.