Arggg.. I hate school ....

[Pitchounette]

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I have had similar with ds - can be very agressive and shouting etc just makes it worse.

My current strategy is that I have invented an octopus that lives in his head and it is the octupus' tentacles that are responsible for all the pushing and kicking. Ds is in turn responsible for controlling the octopus. I tell him lots of stories about him and the octopus when he is good. When he is naughty, he does not get the stories and I tell him to get the octopus under control and to tell him off. This makes ds laugh, but he takes the point. It also stops me being negative about him all the time.

It is not fool proof and maybe ds will develop an octopus complex but at the moment it seems to work for us. The other upside is that sometimes ds is lonely at school as his agression can put other children off but he knows that his octopus is always with him!

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I'm the same, that's why I developed a fiction to help me deal with it. If I have a solution I can use each time he does this, it makes not shouting at him a little easier. There are however many times when it is not easier and I would love to shour "you little fecker"

I really know where you're coming from with this. My eldest DC has just turned 4, and I think he's found and flicked his monster switch.

He's argumentative, loud, sticks tongue out, yada, yada, yada. Basically he's being such a boy, so I'm not looking forward to the effect that starting school is going to have on the little sod darling.

Shouting definitely makes it worse, in fact he laughs sometimes whilst being shouted at , so it is completely counter productive. I've found that sitting on the step had to be complimented with the confiscation of toys. A bit like raising the stakes a little higher for bad behaviour. This is working pretty well so far to teach him that bad behaviour has consequences beyond being parked on a step. Not shouting works well too, as well as ignoring various phrases like, "I'm not your friend any more", "it's not fair", etc. Well, I either ignore or reply, "I still love you whatever".

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Me and DS sometimes have really good name calling games He'll be walking home and say "poo poo head" or something, so under my breath I say "bin breath" and he comes back with something else. This is probably terrible parenting but it's very funny. i guess it stops him doing it to annoy or gain attention, because he knows I will treat it as a game and we'll have some fun. Perhaps it takes the power out of the thing for him? Or perhaps I am just trying to justify my appalling parenting?

however this approach has not so far made ds a rude insulting child, he is extremely mannerly (with other people )

Again with sticking tongue out etc I often launch myself at him with gnashing teeth and tell him I'll bite it off

I realise that I am ducking issues here but I am incapable of authoritarianism so this approach works for me

I realise though that if this sort of behaviour is what really pushes your buttons then it's difficult to treat it lightly...but it may be worth a try...

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I think if he is rolling his eyes as you are telling him off, that it's a natural human reaction...it's to do with a kind of defence mechanism when you feel powerless, as children often are....he is just in a small way 'fighting back' and that's a necessary part of the human spirit.

You can't control what he does to THAT extent that you can stop him doing that (not unless you crush him which clearly you wouldn't) so I think you have to ignore it.

It doesn't matter. You are still getting your point across and telling him off and him rolling his eyes cannot stop you.

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