Is my dd (5) o/weight?

[Caththerese1973]

Hi-my beautiful dd, just turned 5, is slightly overweight, I think. She is 44 cm tall and weighs about 23 kilos. Is this officially overweight, btw? I don't want to impose upon her unecessarily but her father, now my ex, thinks she needs to lose some weight. To me she looks quite solid but not noticeably big, pretty much as I was at that age (I've never been overweight myself but my ex dp - her father - was an overweight child). No comments have been made by teachers or anything. I'd also appreciate tips on how to encourage one's child to eat healthier food in a 'tactful' way. Certainly my ex is not tactful - after every visit dd is anxiously looking at herself in mirrors and asking 'am I too fat?" (and I simply say she is the perfect size). Also tips on how to make 'outside' stuff more interesting for more bookish kids would be appreciated. My dd seems more interested in drawing pictures than going to parks!But I don't want to buttonhole her as 'non-atheletic' at this early stage....

I think you may have to re-measure her, 44cm is very very short, in fact my ds was 52cm at birth....

Re-measure and post again, and will have a look for you.
Alternatively, plot her height and weight in the red book your hv gave you, that will give you a rough guide

And with regards to the exercise, can you take a bat and ball to the park, or a bike or a scooter?
Do you have space for a trampoline in your garden?
(My ds is not too keen on sport but will ride his bike for miles or bounce on the trampoline for hours)
Can you take her swimming, even just having fun in the pool is great exercise.

Message withdrawn

So is 23kilo just over 3.5 stone?

Do you mean 44 inchs? That would be about 111cm which wuld be more normal for 5yo.

look here.
assuming you meant 44 inches (I think that's 3 ft 8), weight of 23 kilos (50.5 lb?) then she has a bmi of 18.4, which is "at risk of becoming overweight"

TBH, you can't go to the pound on these things. It's just a rough guide. How does she look at the side of her classmates? Do you have trouble getting clothes for her age/height to fit her? Have you calculated how many calories she is taking in (for her age I have just googled that it should be about 40 calories per pound, or about 1800 per day. So keep a diary for a couple of weeks so you can look back and see.) Is she active enough? Get her heart pounding with some good running and skipping and jumping.

And, imo, you should try not to worry about it, or you'll pass your concerns on to her.

whoops! I meant 44 inches, which is 112 cm.

And please please ask your ex never to comment on dd's weight
I'd probably look for an activity to do during the week, swimming is very good (and she's the right age to start) or gym class, which are great for their coordination. If she's girlie she might enjoy ballet classes?
I love bookish children btw

Message withdrawn

she can't be 44cm - that's about 10 cm shorter than the average newborn.
My ds3 is 4 and he's tiny for his age, but he's still over 90 cm tall.

Is she more like 1m 10 - 1m 30? Or even 144cm, is that what you meant? If so, she's quite tall.

As for doing more outdoors stuff, do you have a garden, is she an only child? Does she have many frinds living close by? Is she allowed to play outseide? Is tehre a park near by? At least the spring is (in theory) on it's way, so etting her out will be getting easier.

gut reaction is 23 kilos doesn't sound excessive at age 5, but without height/photo can't really say

children get MORE chubby at six? isn't it the other way round?

Agree with Franca that Dads should never make unflattering comments about their daughters' looks, at any stage of their lives. If the most important man in her life doesn't think she's beautiful what hope is there (in her mind) that other boys/men will find her attractive? Her self esteem will be zero and that way eating disorders (and/or other confidence issues) lie.

At 5 there is still plenty of time to adjust her eating and exercise habits if you or her doctor think it is necessary.

dd is similar in build, she is one of the tallest in her class and weighs three and a half stone. her weight has been the same for over 12 months now though so i am not worried. 13-14 months ago she was well covered but it all seems to have evened itself out.

she has recently had another growth spurt and is on the top percentile on the charts but has been since birth.

my dd is five and is 43inches approx like your dd and weighs 20 kilos

Thanks everyone for the advice.
When I compare my dd to her classmates she seems maybe a bit larger than average, but certainly not to the extent that there's social concerns (ie, she's never - as far as I know - been teased or anything like that). She has only just started school and has already made a special friend who lives round the corner - maybe some playdates are in order (dd is an only child, btw). We're in Australia and since I had DD the obesity anxiety re children has really intensified - we're a bit like the US in that respect. Many mothers I know will only give their child max 1 cup of milk per day once they are over 2, for eg. Whereas my dd has a habit, which I should probably curtail, of drinking a lot of milk at night. I get 'hi/lo' (ie, halfway between skim and full fat) milk for her: she has noticed skim is 'watery' and refuses it. I don't think she is overweight: there might be a small risk of her getting overweight if I don't keep an eye on things. I work fulltime & am very busy, even at home, with work-related stuff, and she does help herself from the fridge quite a bit. Lately when she asks for snacks I've been giving her carrot sticks and apples, which she seems to like. More advice would be welcomed (and to reiterate, dd is 112 cm and 23 kilos, NOT 44 cms - I was a bit tired & wrote down the inches, not the cms....)

I think my daughter is a bit portly too! Same age as yours, but I have to say I aven't measured or weighed her since she was a baby.

I'm trying to offer her fruit/veg based snacks and keep her diet generally healthy. She adores food and will eat and eat given half the chance, and is really unpicky so I suppose we have to be grateful for that! The only reason I'm concerned at all is that DS1 was a bit plump from about 8-13 until he grew, and he was bullied a bit at school - nothing serious but it did upset him. They are quite similar in their eating habits, so I am trying to keep an eye on it without making a big deal of it. I actually think it's better to do nothing and have them a bit plump than go on and on and they end up with an eating disorder. Also would agree about milk - limit it to one drink a day,and not with meals, as long as they're getting calcium elsewhere.My son used to drink loads and will still drink a lot now, given half the chance.Perhaps cut up carrots, or put a dish of cut up fruit in the fridge, so she can still help herself?

The other thing I think you have to watch out for is portion size - are you giving her the same amount, or nearly, as you have? I know I tend to give my daughter too much because there are two adults, one 14 year old, one 12 year old who eat loads, so I just dollop hers out on the plate almost the same. I realised I do this because my ds2, who's 9, is not really interested in food so I give him small portions or he won't eat it - he seems to get overfaced very easily - funnily enough he is by far the slimmest of my children! I realised I was giving her far more than him, and she was eating it! So now I try to give her a bit less, and she hasn't noticed.

Also activity - my dd loves ballet, and also likes riding her scooter to school and going to the park and bike riding. My dd1 is very sporty and active although she eats loads and I think this is down mainly to activity levels.We do try to go for a walk most weekends too, or swimming if it's cold/wet.

Agree I think I'd stop the bedtime milk and the self-service snacking, and stick to 3 healthy meals at regular times instead. Then you'll know exactly what she's eating.

And if you can, have a word with her Dad about his comments. They could be more damaging than any amount of excess weight as she gets older.

I meant to say, dd1 is sporty and active and slim, although she eats loads!

My dd is 4.7, 109 cm and weighs 20kg, which makes her just above the 75th centile for height and just below the 91st centile for weight. She is very solid, but not 'fat' at all - although she does have a bit of a tummy when she's had a lot to eat!!!

She is also a food-lover, so I keep her portions small, I know she will want a bit of everything, so give her small amounts (whereas ds1 will just want one or two items, so has more of each so it balances out). She is also very active - walks to school every day (3/4 mile), home from school 3x each week, does swimming, gymnastics each week, and generally climbs round the house! I do keep an eye on her as I think she has the potential to be chubby, whereas ds1 is very skinny.

thanks again, especially littleshebear & tortoiseshell: our situations sound similiar. I AM VERY CONCERNED (!) and ANGRY about dd's Dad's attitude. His comments are completely unhelpful and destructive. I know from experience that there is simply no point in telling him to stop badgering her about her 'weight problem' (which, from my POV, is at worst a minimal concern - she's a long way from obese). Perhaps if I point out that he may be paving the way for an eating disorder he will listen....I hope so. Happily dd and I are now with my husband-to-be, who is very positive and loving and full of unconditional praise for dd. I feel dd has to earn praise from her dad: he is hypercritical in general and this extends to dd, and this is worrying. BTW, dd's dad is hardly a stick figure himself (!). I'm tempted to tell her to tell him to go take a look in the mirror.....