We're absolutely stuck and don't know where to start. NC as could be recognisable.
Ex and I split 5 years ago when DD was 2. Relatively amicable (he had affair so not great but more than civil), always been able to communicate re DD. All has been fine re his contact, she's stayed at his 5 nights in 14 for the last 5 years with no problems. He does school drop off and pick up on his days. Just trying to show its all been fine until recently.
In January he remarried (she and her now 9yo DD moved in approx 3 years ago, all seemed fine etc, girls share a room with usual niggles but been ok) and I moved house at the same time. Since roughly then he says she doesn't engage at his house. Nothing drastic at first so I wasn't told, but the last 2 or 3 months it's got dramatically worse to the point she just doesn't speak to stepmum or step sister, sits staring blankly, doesn't participate, one word answers, that kind of thing. It's got to the point where it's causing massive ructions there and she's essentially being sent back to me as it's so difficult there.
He's not the best at emotions so will try and talk his way round it like he's in a boardroom, big words, not really kid friendly way of tackling it. If I try and talk to her about it she totally clams up. When either of us have managed to get anything out of her she says everything is fine, she wants to go there, doesn't know why she doesn't speak, and generally clams up again. She's 100% "normal" with me and the rest of the family, chirpy, chatty, nothing like at his. What the hell do I do?? Stop her going for a while? Keep sending her and hope she comes round? Another option?? I want her to have a great relationship with them as I didn't have that with my own dad. I just don't know how to tackle it!!
TLDR: she won't engage at her dad's but says she wants to keep going. What do we do?