Can I 5 , nearly six year old be sneaky?!?! Please help.

[ZoeyW]

This weekend my DD took some chocolates from a high shelf and ate them in her room - I found the wrappers.
Asked her why did had taken them and asked her not to do it again.
THE very next day she had done the same thing ( she had taken a chair to climb up and get the box both times?!?)

Same weekend - I brought a new lippy last week and she really liked it, but I said that she couldn't wear it when she asked - fair enough.
I couldn't find it on Sat, asked if anyone had seen it - No.
On Sunday it turned up in the bathroom and she admitted that she had it in her room. Didn't get cross just asked her not to do it again.

I am 5 months pregnant - do you think this has anything to do with it?

Should I be getting cross with her? Could this be the start of something bigger?

She is normally very well behaved. Only problem I have with her is when she comes back from a visit at her grandma's (on fathers side - we are separated and have been since she was one and all get on fine - no arguing both happy with our new partners etc) and her grandma bascially just spends vast amounts of money on her /lets her get away with murder and she comes back like the devil child.

Her last visit was a few days over half term.

Gosh - this is rather long - sorry to go on , just thought a bit of background might help!!!

What should I do?!?! Please help

oooooooooooh 5yo's can be as sneaky as a bag of sneaky things.

I think GP's as a rule like to spoil the grandchildren (perk of the job so to speak)

maybe just speak to grandparent about her behaviour and ask her to watch out for any similar behaviour whilst she is in her care....ie subtly hinting not to spoil her.

I wouldnt get cross though........she fessed up albeit a day later adn you have asked her not to do it again.

My DD (now 6) is a regular magpie, I have learnt the "oh have you seen my "whatever it is?, oh i bet you cant find it, you are my best finder", and usually she will pop up to her room and "hey presto" it is back

hope this helps XX

totally wise words from stoppin. That's an absolutely brilliant strategy "can you find it, you're my best finder" because it gives the child the chance to redeem the situation without it even becoming a situation....they can save face etc and no harm done.

I think it's so hard for them to govern their impulses at this age, so it is common for this sort of thing to happen.

I think it might be a good idea to try to say yes at every opportunity - as with the lippy, rather than just 'no' perhaps you could offer that she could wear some just once, you could put it on for her....sometimes if the fascination is given in to a bit that can stop the compulsion to HAVE whatever it is!

And agree also with the fact that GP's do indulge kids but I think it won't have a long lasting effect on her development as a person, because she comes back and slots back in to a 'normal' life. I'd try to just go with this, unless you find she is getting worse for longer after each visit?

Totally normal behaviour for a five year old, regardless of whatever is happening around them.

Thanks Ladies.
Great advice from both of you.
xxxx

Thanks Ladies.
Great advice from both of you.
xxxx

It is not unknown for me to get a high stool to get chocolate to eat and I am over 5

I am hoping to learn to govern my impulses one day

As long as she is still confessing I think you are (fairly) OK.

I can remember my DB (10yrs younger) being a complete nightmare when he came back from being indulged by GP's for a few days.

Just to add that I reckon the pregnancy will possibly be having an effect...she might be feeling insecure about all the changes, and wanting to make sure you're still 'there' as it were - this often manifests in 'naughtiness'.

It doesn't sound like it will be a long term thing

Perhaps her wildness coming back home has more to do with her being insecure, afraid of you not being OK etc than being spoilt by Grandma, though. Lots of reassurance should help!