2yo boy - very short attention span

[jojolondon81]

My 2yo ds, who is almost 27 months, is energetic and has an extremely short attention span. Nursery have worried me a bit today as they raised it, saying it's very hard to get him to engage in activities (e.g. art and crafts, numeracy/phonics) for any length of time and he doesn't listen well to instructions. They did acknowledge he's still very young and some of the activities are perhaps more aimed at preschoolers (his nursery only has 2 rooms - baby and toddler/preschool). I know he is too young to start thinking about ADHD, but I can't help but worry. Main things we notice:

• Generally very energetic, constantly running around.
• Changes his mind all the time - e.g. "I want a banana" - hand him the banana. "I don't want it". Take it away again. Starts shouting that he wants the banana. Repeat ad infinitum.
• Cannot focus to complete simple jigsaw puzzles or settle at activities like colouring/free drawing on paper.
• We've had some issues with impulsive shoving of (mostly younger) kids, though this seems to have settled a bit recently.
• Still likes chucking food on the floor during mealtimes.
• Reading has improved recently - once he's a bit familiar with a book, he now enjoys being read to and will sit through the whole story. Tends to get up and wander off if he doesn't know the story.

Can anyone else relate? Is this just fairly typical behaviour for a boisterous 2yo boy?! Nursery have got me worried there could be issues. He's generally a happy, smiley, affectionate little boy who loves cuddles - but definitely a handful!

I should maybe add: his speech is coming on quite well - he's starting to form proper sentences - so no real communication worries, other than that he often doesn't listen to instructions. He is starting to get familiar with and name shapes, but not there with colours yet - I suspect because he won't/can't focus on any activities that might help with learning.

He does get upset and tantrum but I would say it tends to blow over quite quickly. His older sister (almost 5), who is very good at concentrating on activities, threw worse tantrums at his age.

Sounds very very similar to my girl.

She’s such a bunch of fun but at 2 and a half she doesn’t play with toys still. Unless I’m there with her. Literally I don’t think even two minutes of solo toy play have ever happened.

I have spoken with her nursery but they didn’t sound worried about it. They have a forest school they go to most days and she’s great there. Remember balancing on thing and jumping/swinging is still playing.

She’s also a good talker and smart. It sounds like your boy is smart too but I agree it is a bit exhausting. My girl was also pushy at that age but she’s a bit better now. That is really normal too apparently.

And yes - tantrums are very short lived - I try and be thankful for that! Sometimes a short attention span comes in handy :)

Thanks so much for your reply, @OK2023 - it's good to hear I'm not alone! It is very tiring, eh. But yes true that at least tantrums are short-lived too. He actually had a good go at mark-making with felt tips for about 10 minutes this weekend, which is an improvement as previously he's only wanted to throw them on the floor or eat them! Small steps, small steps.

I have a similar issue with my son! Just posted about being asked to leave a football tots class this morning as he didn’t want to listen to the instructions given and was more interested in all the equipment he wasn’t meant to touch …

im so used to little girls who love to sit and draw and colour and join in with group activities…

no advice - but sending solidarity as a mum who’s questioning everything and if I should be worrying!

There is a reason they won't diagnose ADHD until age 6 and that's because so much can change and develop in this time. I think it's fine for nursery to acknowledge that his concentration needs work but they shouldn't just be being negative about it. They should be making a plan for how they're going to support him, eg set a target of them concentrating on a task for a minute per their age then building this up. I don't think it's worth getting too hung up on at age 2 though tbh

I have 2 boys.. 6 and 2.. they are very physical with how they learn but the societal expectation is you should be sitting to learning. I bet if you put the puzzle pieces around the room at told your 2 year old he had to find them he'd focus to do it..

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts.
@Nelly44 that's a very good point about different learning styles. He's definitely a more "active" learner at the moment!
@Theydontknowthatweknowthattheyknow I agree about nursery. It's so hard for parents not to worry once they make a negative comment and something more constructive would have been helpful.
@lizziesto, solidarity right back! My strong-willed older daughter can be challenging in her own way, but focus/concentration has never been an issue, so it's a new one for me. You just never know what personality is going to turn up, eh?!

hi any updates please

@seasonchange123you might want to try an @ to get the OP’s attention

@seasonchange123 Hello, my little boy is now 3 and will be 4 in August. He is still very lively and a handful at times - into everything, touching things he knows he shouldn't, pushing the boundaries, running off! But also very loving, sweet-natured and pretty even-tempered, I would say. We recently took the decision to defer his school start until next year, as he is one of the youngest in his year. His nursery teachers agreed this would be in his best interests. Although the attention span has improved a lot (he even sat and completed a jigsaw puzzle yesterday, albeit with quite a lot of help from me), it's still not the best and he isn't keen on more focused activities like drawing, stickers, crafts, etc. He's also very impulsive and can't resist doing things he knows he shouldn't. I hope an extra year will mean he's more likely to cope with the jump to more formal learning in Year 1, for example.

Thank you so much for your reply . Is the nursery still considering an assessment for adhd ?

No, I've been told they wouldn't diagnose ADHD at such a young age, which makes sense. I have asked outright whether they are concerned about that in his case, and they said no, not at this stage. Obviously we will be alert to it as he gets older and starts school, but I'm trying to remember that all kids are different and it may just be that he's a boisterous little boy.

Definitely xx do you mind me asking if you have anyone in the family with adhd diagnosis? I know there’s a highly genetic component and if there is not the chances are he is just more energetic than others at this age 🙂. Thank you again for your update

We're not aware of any family history, at least not of formally diagnosed ADHD.

Hi any updates on your little one ?