4 year old stuttering

[Dreamingofhazelnuts]

Hi Everyone,

My son has just turned 4 last week. A couple months ago, he started having issues at pre school with one of his little friends. He was having nightmares about the little boy and started stuttering. I spoke to the nursery multiple times and they said they hadn't witnessed any disturbing behavior.

I decided to reach out to the other child's Mum and arrange a play date. We went on a few play dates and they seemed to play so nicely together so I thought I was just over worrying about it.

Then we went to a birthday party and my son kept coming over to say his friend had done certain violent things to him. He didn't seem too upset so I initially thought it was just boys rough housing. Then my son got a blood nose and was very upset. I went over and assumed he had been bumped. We sorted out his nose and he went back to playing with his friend. Then I noticed something and went running to find my son pinned down by the other little boy, who was grinning. My son was screaming for help. When I got there the other child jumped up and said "I'm cuddling him".

I was very disturbed by this and the next time I was at pre school, I asked them to keep an eye out. A few days later I was told that there was a serious incident between the other little boy and another child and that they were closely monitoring him.

My son's stuttering has gotten so much worse in the last few weeks. It is especially bad when he is tired, when I pick him up from pre school or if he is upset/stressed out. I am not sure the issues with the friend and the stuttering are related, but it did start round the same time.

I have made an appointment with the GP to discuss the stuttering and I keep talking to my son about being friends with "kind people" etc (without coming right out and saying "I think your friend is an ass").

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am beside myself with worry about this. Thanks in advance.

Hi,

Sorry to hear you’re experiencing this situation. I would ask for your child to be separated from the child he is worried about. He shouldn’t have to cope with this at such a young age. It sounds like the nursery need to supervise the other child more closely to ensure the other children’s safety and help the child with his social skills. If nursery brush of your comments, I would make a formal complaint as it’s not just your son impacted but also other children and the child who’s misbehaving (as they aren’t getting the help they need). I would also be careful not to be off with the child’s mum though if you see her at parties etc (it can be really upsetting for parents when their happens, especially as it may be their child has special needs).

I think it’s a really good idea to go to the GP about the stutter. The sooner a child receives support for a stutter, the more chance they have of not having it in the future. Don’t let the GP fob you off or tell you to wait and see. It might also be useful to contact the health visitor team as they can do referrals to speech and language therapists.

Hope that helps a little and things improve soon.

I think I would look up the Nursery's Safeguarding Policy and complain using that.

If he's going to be there for another year I would be tempted to move him though. The Nursery clearly aren't supervising this other child anywhere near enough.

Personally speaking though too, as in I've got no evidence for this, but we've not spoken about "kind people" when our were little. Some DC can seem to see kindness in almost anyone.

We found it better to talk about the other DC's behaviour so if the DC complained about someone saying horrible things we encouraged them to play with someone else who was having a better day. At 4 though I'd be tempted to encourage them to speak to an Adult. Grassing your classmates up usually only becomes uncool when they're a bit older.

@Oscar5 @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto thank you so much for the replies, it really helps. I had a meeting with the nursery yesterday and my GP appointment is today so hopefully we will get somewhere asap. Thank you for taking the time to reply x

@Dreamingofhazelnuts Hi, Please can I ask what has happened with this for your child? My daughter is going through a very similar thing. She has become very unhappy at nursery (she loved it before), disturbed sleep/nightmares and a stutter which seems to have come on at the same time as all of this. Her stutter is also worse after a day at nursery and when she is tired. I don't know if I should take her out of nursery or not. I don't want her to end up with a permanent stutter because of anxiety at childcare. I can't quite get to the bottom of why she has been upset there but I think another child being unkind os one reason. Any advice/updates on your similar situation appreciated.