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DS2 age 5, phobia about being naked in front of other people

7 replies

Mamamoos · 09/03/2008 22:01

Hi please bear with me. Am complete novice and first time on MN!! Sorry if this is long winded and not abbreviated enough! Am having a hard time with my DS2 who started worrying before Christmas about having erections. He didn't like what happened. Explained all was normal etc, we are an open family and with 3 boys did not expect this. It was manageable with some gentle explaining and reassuring. However, over the past few weeks, has now gone to a whole new level. He worries about PE at school and having to change, swimming and now is freaking out big time about having a shower or a bath and any member of his family or otherwise seeing him naked. The worry has manifested itself in any way connected to having to change or be seen with no clothes on. For 5 days he has not showered; to start with I tried getting cross, coaxing, rewarding etc etc but he appears to be displaying real extreme anxious behavious to the point of what may be a panic attack. I have spoken to his teachers who are very helpful and sensitive and who realising there was a real problem before I even spoke to them let him wear this school uniform whilst doing PE. However he loved swimming and now the thought of doing it at school has sent him into a panic so am not sure how the teachers will get around this. It is upsetting and very worrying. He is otherwise a gentle, mature, sensitive (and at times a "worrier") and intelligent little boy who has been able to articulate that it is the worry "his penis will go big" if someone sees him. I have tried reassuring all is normal, that it happens to all boys, have told him he can go into bathroom by himself in private etc. Short of forcing him into the shower how do I get him to have a wash? And more so, how do I alleviate his fears. Would be grateful if anyone has any advice or any similar experience. Phew sorry soooo long!

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jsygurl · 09/03/2008 23:05

I have been looking at books on Amazon trying to find one on children with phobias, and there are lots about chiildren with general anxiety - some books are for the parents, some for the kids, maybe you could try one of those?

Sorry this isn't much help.

Mamamoos · 09/03/2008 23:09

Thank you, that is a help I will have a look tomorrow. Anything worth a try! Thanks again.

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jsygurl · 09/03/2008 23:31

i was also thinking that maybe a man that he looks up to could have a quiet Willy talk with him - after all, he knows that this is a problem you just don't have - someone who has been there and is an expert on the subject might be more able to reassure him.

dippydeedoo · 09/03/2008 23:58

i think its just a phase constant reassurance without too much deep thought and it will soon stop ...at 5 will he believe in magic willy shrinking pants?

Mrspanic · 10/03/2008 10:26

Poor thing; can't offer any advice except that the shrinking pants idea might be worth a try ! I have 3 boys - 2 older whose willies I no longer see - and a 4yo who seems unfazed by the occasional erection. He just looks at it until it goes away.

Mamamoos · 10/03/2008 11:14

Hi thank you all for your suggestions and advice! I am so amazed by this site ! Think I may be using it quite a bit. Any helpful tips for a newcomer using it gratefully received. All good suggestions, my DH has tried the 'man to man' approach but at the moment anything remotely emotional, DS still wants me. DS1 who is 9 has also had a chat. He is the other extreme and always been proud as punch and delighted in informing us from age of 2 up until about a year ago, when said 'function' happened to him!! I like the magic willy shrinking pants, and gave DH and me a giggle, but as he is such a thinker he will want all the ins and outs of how it works and probably not just accept the magic part! My friend texted this morning with a suggestion of him wearing swimming trunks in the shower. Though don't want to feed his anxiety it may be short term solution. Thanks again! PS Has anyone suffered any storm damage?

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Mamamoos · 10/03/2008 11:22

PS jsygurl - have just looked online at Amazon and there looks some pretty helpful books, esp the one called "what to do when you worry too much" - A guide for children. Reviews are excellent. You have probably already seen it.

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