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Help! Ideas for helping 4yr old come to terms with new baby

4 replies

readytoswiggin · 09/03/2008 21:03

It's mad isn't it. I've spent the last 6months preparing him, but he's finding the reality difficult. He's a quiet sensitive type too, and his unsettledness is being shown in general naughtyness, rudeness and whingyness, and other attention seeking behaviour.

Dh reacts big time, comes down hard, shouting and generally losing cool and of course ds repeats the behaviour or it deteriorates and so it all escalates. not helped by the fact the grown up stuff is really stressful at the mo, so dh tense anyway. And of course we end up arguing that I am too soft, don't blame me if he grows up into a yob etc etc. Not good.

He's absolutly desperate for attention isn't he? he gets it positively, don't get me wrong, but all this is simply his way of asking for more, so ideas please? I've tried a lot of the obvious, cuddle up with a video while feeding(one of the flashpoints, the other when tired/hungry) stories, and so on.

Anyone? I'm missing my ds with his nice hat on

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notnowbernard · 09/03/2008 21:07

Poor you

I sympathise, have been there (but with a younger 2.8yr old)

It does get better, honestly! Try and ride it out, pick your battles and do a lot of ignoring of the shit that doesn't really matter

Is there any way you can get some 1:1 toime with ds? Or that he can have 1:1 with dp?

Try and get Dp on-side so you are both singing from the same song sheet, as it were

readytoswiggin · 09/03/2008 21:13

Believe it or not, we have been there, 2yrs age when dd1 came along. Dh was exactly the same then too!

Ds does get some 1:1 with dh, which he loves, but he is a bit of a mummys boy.

Maybe ds and I should barricade ourselves in the bathroom with chocolate, gin and frootshoots...

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notnowbernard · 09/03/2008 21:15

3 under 4, wow

You are an old hand at this! It will pass...

Can DH take the other 2 out for a bit or can you and ds go to the park for an hour or so?

accessorizequeen · 09/03/2008 21:17

Sounds like he's desperate for 1:1 time with you, poor lamb. And it must be hard for you to do that (I know I found it impossible) - could you do one thing with him everyday when dh around e.g. reading bedtime story, breakfast? Doing a puzzle together, looking at photos of him as baby on the computer/album etc? (They all love that) It made a big difference to me and my ds when I just handed the baby to dp and read him his bedtime story which I hadn't done in weeks. They just seem to want something that's theirs with no baby in the picture. I must remember this when dc3 is born!

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