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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

do any of you MN's have babies/ toddlers with pearced ears ?

51 replies

mummyloveslucy · 09/03/2008 20:43

I would just like to hear from any mums netters that have had their baby's or toddlers ears pierced. I was in a shop the other day and was horrified to see a baby of about 9 months old having it's ears pierced. The little poppet screamed the place down and it had obviously caused a huge amount of unnessisary pain and distress to her. It really upset me when my daughter had her vaccinations but at least that was nessessary for her own health.
I'd just like to know your reasons for doing this to your children as I just don't understand it at all. Isn't it a natural mothers instinct to protect your baby? I would like to know the reasons why mothers pay to have their baby's mutalated.
I was 16 when I had mine done and it hurt like hell! To think of babies and toddlers having it done makes me feel quite sick.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Scattybird · 09/03/2008 21:07

She spelt it wrong in the title, to wind everyone up I think.

muppetgirl · 09/03/2008 21:08

I was 6 weeks old when my mother and grandmother took me to have mine pierced. My mum asked my dad and he said no but my mother took me anyway. I am now 32 adn I can go for a year without wearing any earings and the holes still don;t clear up. I'm not a wearer of earings so I would have appreciated being asked (ie waiting until I could voice an opinion) whether I wnated this permanant thing done to me.

oliviaelanasmum · 09/03/2008 21:08

My dd1 had her ears pierced when she was 5, that was the age i had mine done and was the age we had always said if she asked we would let her have them done.

WigWamBam · 09/03/2008 21:09

No, I'm not the kind of mother who would do such a thing. Quite how you make that assumption from my post I don't know.

I am, though, the kind of person who hates it when people make generalised statements about someone's morals based on one aspect of their parenting - without bothering to consider that they may not be entirely perfect themselves.

And now I'm off because I think I can hear the subtle sound of hooves going over a bridge somewhere.

muppetgirl · 09/03/2008 21:10

sorry for shocking spelling btw

pinkbubble · 09/03/2008 21:12

I let DD for her 10th Birthday have her ears pierced. (thought she was old enough) How wrong I was. After the 6 wks of keeping them in she wouldn't let me (or herself) take them out. Eventually she did allow me to, but she wouldn't put any new ones in. So her ears closed over. When she became about 12, she was desp. I eventually caved in and told her that she could have them done at 13 but she was to pay for them herself. That was the best thing that could have happened. She has really matured and looked after her own ears, so have now decided on the other 2 DDs this will also happen to them too.

Moomin · 09/03/2008 21:13

My SIL has had her dd's ears pierced - her dd is 13 months old. But SIL is Indian and it's definitely a cultural thing. I don't like it though, but it's not really my business: it means something different to me than it does to her (SIL).

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/03/2008 21:19

WWB- it is quite a huge statment to make having your baby's ears pierced isn't it? If they don't want people to judge them, why do it?
I assumed you had your child's done and that was why you were pissed.
I'm don't pretend to be a perfect mummy but I do my best to care for and protect my daughter. I really wanted to hear people's reasons for doing it, but my angar came out and I think I've scared them off.

OP posts:

VanillaPumpkin · 09/03/2008 21:21

Yes, don't say sorry or anything....
Odd. Very odd .

scottishmummy · 09/03/2008 21:26

mummyloveslucy it is quite highhanded and moralising to ask other mums to explain their choices to you.

i bet you didn't mean it but it implies you sitting in judgment whilst others contritely ask for your understanding

TotalChaos · 09/03/2008 21:31

If I had a DD I wouldn't have had their ears pierced at such a young age, but I still don't see why you are so massively bothered by it.

Lulumama · 09/03/2008 21:35

you cannot expect people to calmly and rationally tell you why they made certain parenting decisions, if you post stuff like this:

By mummyloveslucy on Sun 09-Mar-08 21:03:11
wigwambam- you sound like the kind of mother that would do such a thing. I guess this explains a lot, it's certain TYPES of mothers. To me it's leagal child abuse that should be stopp

I have a dd, she won;t have her ears pierced until she is at least 12.. and old enough to look after the piercings and undertake the repsonsibility.. if she wants them doing at all

i would not want DS to have a pierced ear at all , i thikn i might be a hypocrite!

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/03/2008 21:37

Because I saw it happen. It was awfull, I felt so sorry for the baby. Just seeing them with earings dosn't bother me too much, but when I witnessed it happening, It just bought it home to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/03/2008 21:42

Do you realy see it as a parenting decision ? To me a parenting decision would be deciding what school to apply for etc. I wish there was a law against it.

OP posts:

Quattrocento · 09/03/2008 21:42

This is a cultural thing. Many European countries do pierce children's ears early, and many African ones too.

Ear piercing does not hurt, and it is not something (like genital mutilation) which really affects children in later life.

I really don't know why you are being judgemental about this - the post "wigwambam- you sound like the kind of mother that would do such a thing. I guess this explains a lot, it's certain TYPES of mothers." was unnecessary.

I could for instance say that I want to know why the OP had 8 spelling and grammatical errors in it. I could say that I WANT TO KNOW your reasons for posting aggressive and badly written OPs. I could say that only certain types of mothers would do such a thing ...

UniversallyChallenged · 09/03/2008 21:43

muppetgirl says she cant remember having it done as a baby. Older children can remember the pain.

Many think it looks sweet little babies with jewellry- bracelets, earings etc.

Put 2 and 2 together and maybe you have your answer

Lulumama · 09/03/2008 21:45

of course it is a parenting decision, every decision you make regarding your children is a decision as a parent, hence a parenting decision.

what else is it?

hippipotami · 09/03/2008 21:46

mummyloveslucy, the very first words WWB wrote were 'I don't like it either'

So how on earth did you deduce that she had her dd's ears pierced?????
And then to start a shouting match?

Anyway, I intensely dislike small children with pierced ears. I even dislike it on children under the age of 10.

But other people do not have to explain to you, or justify to you. You are not in charge.

If you genuinly want to find out why some mums pierce their children's ears, then ask in an objective way, without throwing in words such as 'mutilate', 'immoral' etc.

I assume poeple have their dc's ears pierced for cultural or religious reasons, or for the plain fact that they like the way it looks.
What other answers were you hoping for?

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/03/2008 21:55

UniversallyChallenged- I see your point. They must believe it looks nice and they won't remember it anyway. If it were me, I'd let her have a gold bracelet and a nice outfit to make her look sweet. (not that she needs it of corse!) I think all baby's look gorgeous (in their natural state).
I dred the day my dd asks for hers to be pierced, I might let her have it done for secondery school. (if she REALLY want's it)
That way, when it hurts I can remind her that she wanted to have it done.

OP posts:

hippipotami · 09/03/2008 21:58

Secondary school would be the earliest my dd would get it done too.
It is her own decision then.

WallOfSilence · 09/03/2008 22:35

I still don't get why you think you can invite other to justify their choices to you... who the hell are you to decide whether people have genuine reasons for having their children's ears pierced?

Quattrocento · 09/03/2008 22:38

I think this is a Cod challenge thread. So I have stopped being snippety now ...

UniversallyChallenged · 09/03/2008 22:43

i must have missed something - whats a cod challenge thread?

KarisTiasMum · 10/03/2008 10:35

My Partner is a Body Piercer.. He will refuse any Parent who brings in a baby/child who is being forced into a piercing for their parents vanity. He also makes sure he tells them so too. And this is from a man who is making a living from peircing and could easily just put his morals aside and get on with it.
We are often shocked by the parents response when confronted by my partner about their reasons for doing this to their children. and as we predicted it is usually for their own selfish reasons.
Unless a Child is old enough to ask for it themselves, look after and clean it themselves and take full responsibilty for the piercings then they should not be performed.
I cannot begin to understand anyone who would inflict any unnecessary discomfort on their child for fashion.

If you want to step up your image.... buy a new handbag!!

TinySocks · 10/03/2008 11:07

Oh Dear, I am going to be a little controversial here, most of you are totally against it. I am usually a very traditional type of person, but in the culture I come from it is ABSOLUTELY normal to pierce a little baby GIRL's ears right after her birth. They do it in the hospital.
In fact, if a baby does not have tiny little buttons in her ears everybody thinks it is a boy.
This is a really common tradition in spain an other mediterranean countries.

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