Help setting behaviour boundaries with 10 month old

[GingerLiberalFeminist]

I have a 10 month old DD who is a delight (to me!). She is curious and has been crawling since 7 months. No clinginess, loves people and especially loves other children.

However I'm thinking she may come across as badly behaved. When we go to baby groups, she is first out to explore, rushes to other children and tries to touch them, zooms across the room towards things that get her attention and while she turns to her name, she will rarely come back to me because 'life is just too exciting'!

I'm worried she is going to be a willful child who won't listen to me and bugs everyone and I will get accused of being a so-called gentle parent who doesn't set boundaries for her.

But how do I do it when she is so young? She constantly takes my glasses off and just giggles when I say no and move her away, then tries again.

How do I get her to behave, other than constantly running after her and picking her up and having her cry because she can't do what she wants?

On the face of it it's not a massive problem now, but I don't want to create a rod for my own back! If I had a template of behaviour to keep her a bit under control, my DH could emulate too.

Any advice?!!

Kindly OP, just stop. 10 month olds don't need behaviour boundaries. Your child is doing exactly what she is programmed to do, she is not misbehaving. Supervise her and if she is heading towards something you dont want her to just gently encourage her away and say no, eg if she's crawling on top of other kids or trying to grab faces, glasses etc.
Honestly, I can barely believe this isn't a windup post. At 10 months your are supposed to run after her and pick her up if needed, there aren't alternatives at this age and you certainly don't need a template.

At this age (and for quite awhile yet) I'm afraid it is mostly chasing after them and distracting them. Distraction is the main tool to minimise crying when thwarted. They will eventually get that they can't touch your glasses if you keep at it, but it is very much 'eventually'.

We did start saying 'gentle' and helping them gently touch our faces, touch a flower, etc. around this age, and this did eventually translate into understanding a reminder to be gentle touching another child...eventually.

I'm probably being PFB about it! I'll carry on with 'gentle' etc then!

I would say your right actually in what your thinking gentle parenting works to a degree but its far too soft if you ask me and children aren't feeling safe because too much choice is being given I feel we are letting go of that I'm the parent I'm a trusted adult who sets the rules at this time method. My son did the same things started pulling hair and grabbing faces doing these little screams that everyone found cute because apparently that's what they are meant to do at this age but I didn't agree with any of them after all most of there children was having some sort of issue regulating there emotions so I completely ignored there advice I realised quickly as a new mum that these 'rules' we put into place don't feel natural because we are actually getting our babies ready for social acceptance that's the truth we don't want the old lady on the bus going oh he's a noisy one can't you settle him or someone judging that your too soft its never to do with you and your baby and how you naturally feel we are taught to change those instincts as mothers to make our children seem like sweet little darlings for society and not the mad crazy infants they are meant to be half the people who would say online oh they are just babies leave them be are the same people who huff and puff in a restaurant when your baby is being a nuisance.

I dont think you have a naughty child it sounds like you have a wild child I have the same thing with my now 3 year old and it started around the 10 month mark at first I set boundaries kept repeating no to hair pulling grabbing the face doing things that aren't acceptable once they are bigger because if my 3 year old behaved like that now I would be getting pulled into pre school and talking about bloody behaviour charts its so hard to know what to do for the best I would honestly say trust your instincts because they are there and strong they just aren't socially acceptable so we ignore them but regardless what people think we can recognise if it's bad behaviour or development and we make excuses for bad behaviour because of the amount of input from others and labelling that comes with it once someone finds an issue in your child.

My son says please and thank you does not hit other children and is very happy in himself but my boundaries are firm with him my 3 year old isn't ruling our home we are all an equal part of it your baby can understand its not too early to say things like oh no that makes me feel sad when you do that and don't respond to your baby when these behaviours are taking place you want to change only respond positively to the ones you know are good for your child they soon get the message and it blossoms your relationship to a place where none can come in-between you x

Your doing amazing mumma keep going trust yourself x

Mine at a similar age did baby groups. The one I really loved made it very clear that babies should be free to explore as they want. Nobody batted an eye when babies were running to the other side of the room.

The one I couldn't get into was a very popular baby group (* cough* ** babysensory) I found the group to be incredibly snooty and any babies daring to move an inch during one of the planned activities was met with a disapproving look or a snarky comment. I remember one activity was just for the babies to pick out and touch some duplo from a large bowl because it was apparently meant to stimulate them. My dd had other ideas. She emptied her own crap out of her bowl, then emptied the bowl of the baby sitting next to her and had made the bowls into giant stacking cups before I had chance to blink 🤣 She's a very bright and inquisitive 5YO now who is doing really well at school.

Their (in)ability to sit still and take direction at 10MO means absolutely nothing. We should be creating a safe space for them to move and explore not disciplining them

Let her explore and ve proud she has thr confidence to do that.. the only boundary I'd encourage if you'd even call it that is we have to be very gentle with the tiny babies. You'll find you already have some boundaries without thinking.. like don't play with the shoes or we don't go into other peoples bags etc. (All things my little explorer was up to)!