12 month regression and delayed development

[Poppybloom55]

Hey Mums! This might be a bit of a rant but to be honest, that’s what I need I think.

My son goes to physio for delayed development, he’s 12 months old. He didn’t sit or make any attempt to move until 9 months, and since 9 months, he’s still only sitting, nothing else. I’m not too worried because he’s getting the help he needs and I’m sure he’ll move when he’s ready. For me, the difficulty is from his anger and frustration as a consequence of not moving.

For months now, he’s just been such an unhappy baby. He will moan cry for 6+ hours a day every day. He won’t tolerate being in the house. He hates playtime because he can’t move and just screams the moment he’s placed on the floor. Physio have told us not to use ‘containers’ / ‘walkers’ - It’s all meant to be floor play but he’s never ever sat and played, even with us, he just screams and screams.

He cries through daily activities such as the car seat, high chair, nappy changes. These are usually end of the world refusals with tears and it’s hell every day.

The consultants are happy he’s not in any pain and he is just acting out at slow development and I try my absolute hardest to understand it’s frustrating for him, but equally, months of tears all day every day has taken its toll.

Add to this that he doesn’t sleep well. He’s never slept through the night, not even close. He won’t sleep in his own bed, and he wakes on average 15+ times a night. He takes hours to go to bed and wakes around 4/5am every day without fail.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know comparing is never a good idea, but I see other mums loving every minute of this stage and I’m just completely defeated.

You must be bloody exhausted. Have you got a DP/DH who can have gin and you go and sleep at your DMs or a hotel for a night?

When is he next being seen by the Physio and by a Paediatrician?

Oh, the frustration is hard! I found getting out helped – apparently frustration at not being able to move is a bit more tolerable with novelty around you. Just cheap/free things like rhyme time at the library, church or village hall stay and plays or baby groups. The play groups also are a good way to try a range of toys and find if there's something he likes. Does he like a bath? If so, you could do long baths that are mostly about playing, and that will get him some 'floor time'. He might like sensory play (loads of ideas online, and you can do it in the bath for easy clean up) or swimming? How about going on a swing at the park? I know it's sort of contained, but if he can sit back in the toddler swings (rather than draped over the front) he'd be using his core muscles some to stabilise himself against the motion.

The sleep sounds horrific, and I had two poor sleepers. What's his current (attempted) pattern for naps and bedtime, and do you have anyone to share the wakes with, or is it all on you?

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto he goes to physio every other week so next appointment is next week. Doctor not so frequent, a couple of months but will see the HV before then I think.

@skkyelark thank you for your suggestions. We do a few of those and to be fair on those days he is a lot happier with the distraction. It’s just keeping that up everyday when you’ve got everyday life going on as well I guess. But I’ll definitely keep trying to use distraction to help me.

I think if I could get him to sleep better it would make a big difference because he must be quite miserable from being so tired all the time because I know I am! But I honestly don’t know what else to try. I’m lucky if he’ll go 30 mins without a wake up lately 😔

looking for advice/wisdom.

Our youngest son is 20 months old and he is a very active, playful, and adventurous toddler. Loves getting into new things and is not shy. He follows commands we give him; such as taking things to the trash, coming over to the sick and putting up his stool to brush teeth, shut doors when we ask, and turns the page in a book when we ask, and will go try to put on shoes when we tell him it’s time to go. He also brings us books when he wants to read and brings us his sippy cup when empty. These are to name a few. He like playing peek-a-boo, being chased around the house, playing catch the the ball, to name a few. He will imitate us of all sorts of actions and engages well with our family. Just always smiling and happy.

Our concerns, he speaks only about 6-7 words regularly. He has said more, but maybe only a few times and then doesn’t say them much. He just doesn’t seem like a big talker, but is my no means “mute”. He will sometime go on big “gibber-gabber” episodes where he uses his lips and points and acts like he is talking to us, he does this multiple times a day. He just isn’t developing speech well, which we are getting the ball rolling with a speech professional too, but my mother did tell me my sister didn’t really talk much until she was 2 years or older as well, between 2-2.5. One other things we noticed after reading a million pages about Autism is that when he is doing something or playing and doing things with various toys, it’s very hard to get his focus off of it, like he will not respond to his name then, but it in general when he’s not pre-occupied he will look at us and respond when we call his name. He does look us in the eye especially more so when he’s not into something and playing. So I’m trying not to “symptom shop” and look for every other detail to see if he is “autistic” but just being a parent I want to do what’s best. In my opinion, if his speech was more advanced, my wife & would never even have thought of the word “autism”. We just wanted to see what everyone has experience has been and if he sounds abnormal or this could just be him? There is no doubt he’s behind on speech, but we are getting the ball rolling on that, but worried if he could be autistic or developmental delays. Just looking for advice/experience from others. Thanks for your help

Everything is much harder when you're sleep-deprived. What's your routine for naps and night sleep, is he on two naps a day, when, how long, etc.? What's his absolute favourite way to sleep (in cot with white noise, in the buggy, on you, etc.)? And do you have anyone who can help you with the night wakes, either regularly or more occasionally? Or even have him for a few hours during the day at some point so you can nap?

With the need for distraction and still trying to get things done, one thing that helped a little with mine was having different toys (or 'toys', i.e., random baby-safe household items) in different rooms, and I'd do parts of jobs in rotation, so fold part of a load of washing until baby started fussing and wouldn't be distracted by me singing to them. Pick them up/play with them a bit, move to the kitchen, they get new toys/change of scene, I start prepping veg for dinner, and so on. It's not at all how I'd prefer to work...but it meant some things got done without too much screaming (mine or theirs).

@lsf5055 , you would probably be better off starting your own thread for advice about your wee one.

I was going to say the same to @lsf5055. You'll get more responses if you start your own thread

I did