angry 6 year old boy

[nancyspain]

My six year old is often very angry and says he hates his elder brother, sometimes he says he hates himself and wants to kill himself. He is doing well at school, has lots of friends and is happy alot of the time at home. He has always fought with his brother who is very bossy etc. We have tried lots of reactions when he says these things including of course trying to find out why he is so cross or sad. My h says that he thinks it is for attention and that I encourage it in a way by cuddling him when he talks like this. I sort of know what he means but it is very hard to know what to do when your child says these things- h says he knows what buttons to press. He is a very sensitive child - if someone tells him off for something he gets very upset, and sulks etc. Does anyone have any ideas please?

I didn't want you post to go unanswered but I do not have many suggestions, if any. I too have an angry 6 yr old boy, though. He has once said he want to kill himself, but when I asked him why he said that his friend X says it all the time. So perhaps it's not that unusual? I am not sure. Sorry not to be more helpful.

My son has been through similar and if you search under my name you will find lots of good advice and support I was given. My son is 7 in a few days and has a younger sister and a younger brother.

This must be really upsetting for you to hear from your son. I can't agree with your h, that your encouraging this type of behaviour by giving your son affection when he is feeling upset and confused, surely this is what we mums are for. Maybe it's worth speaking to your doctor who may be able to refer your son to Camhs. They may be able to help your son with ways in which to channel his anger.
Good luck x

My son very similar at that age, though in his case there was quite a traumatic death within his circle of acquaintance which shook him badly. I think morbid thoughts are quite common at that age. You cuddle him. And show him ways of getting his frustrations out- like beating up the bedding.

Thanks to all of you who replied. I think just writing it down has made me see it more objectively. I have read other stuff for similar problems. I agree that the opportunity for letting off steam after school is vital. Both my children are very good at school, and i realise they are naughty or angry or sad at home because they feel safe enough to do so. I will continue to cuddle them both. I think i need to spend more time with them alone though. The older one dominates generally and maybe the little one has had enough of being pushed around. i can't believe how much better i feel writing this down thanks for listening.