Come here as having a bad time with my 8 year old I’m going to sound selfish & horrible but I am going to be completely honest.
For some context she’s been great up until the last year no changes have happened other than going into junior school which she enjoys has a good friend circle. She shared 50/50 with her dad who for context has an extensive history of lying & isn’t the most trust worthy person but him & his family /my family adore my daughter she’s never gone without love & attention.
Having been bought up by a strict mother myself I’ve always opted more for a friend let’s talk about this style or parenting with my daughter & she knows she can talk to me about anything which is why I’m disappointed when lately she lies so much over silly things like putting her washing in the wash bin instead she has been hiding it in her room then when I’ve asked she’s bare face lied & said she did things like cleaning her room taking rubbish out etc instead she hides it around her room then says she’s done it.
Small things I know but over the last month she’s lied every week about something. She was deceptive in lying one day when she wanted a mc Donald’s she said hadn’t had one for a long time & that her dad doesn’t take her come to find out he had bought her one that day before she came back to me. Its to the point now where she’s lied so much I have taken all her toys away because I’m sick of the constant lying. I’ve had in-depth chats with her & I’ve explained about conscience right wrong etc shes promised she wouldn’t lie then just repeats the behaviour it’s like nothing gets through to her. Only positive to this is her general behaviour has been a lot better she was bordering on being a spoilt brat lots of I wants & now less of that & yes please thank you mummy etc that’s been since I took away her toys I pad etc..
After a big long talk about trust & that she wouldn’t lie I bought her a Halloween costume as a reward for cleaning her room & as a sign of trust that she won’t lie the costume she made a big deal of hanging up in her wardrobe I even said shall I check will it be there to which she went you can look mummy so I chose to trust her well yesterday that very costume I found screwed up in the bottom of her drawer.
In all honesty it’s just made me angry & feel withdrawn I took the costume & pretended to throw it away & made her stay in her room most of the day I’m honestly not enjoying having her on my days at the moment I know it sounds bad but at the moment I prefer the days she’s at her dads I’m starting to feel like I did when I had PND like not wanting to be around her or be affectionate with her today I’ve barely spoke to her. I’m seriously considering taking my daughter to a therapist it’s concerning how easily she lies & how nothing I say seems to get through she’s also extremely high energy & very look at me look at me constantly I’m woundering could there be anything else at play ? As I mentioned earlier her dad has a extensive history of lying I don’t know if he does not but even so I have explained to my daughter if you see anyone in your family or friends lie not to do it herself because she will feel bad etc.
I have also asked if everything is ok the days she at her dads/school etc & in general on a few occasions she said she wants to stay with me more which deep down I feel might help her behaviour I do trying to have her more like my days off etc so it’s not always 50/50 but with her behaviour im honestly glad the days she goes to her dads sometimes I wonder is she like she is because I’m a bad mum for not having her full time.