2.5 yr old being a handful. A few tips on dealing with rages/ stubborness etc

[offersinwot]

DS is just 2.5 and a delight to be with most of the time.

He has discovered that he can climb out of bed and now will just get up and go from 4am onwards. I've put a stairgate up to stop the wandering, but then he becomes enraged with frustration. I'm trying to be firm and consistent, hoping he will resign himself. But he will not give in. DH can't cope with the volume and persistence, so will intervene fairly swiftly, which means we are not reacting the same and he then gets grumpy with me.

DS not giving in...There's the other problem: if he decides he wants to do something, it is becoming increasingly difficult to distract him without a meltdown. My mum says he's wilful. I know he is strong-willed and want to handle this sensitively as much as firmly. I don't want to start labelling him.

Any tips. Please??

bump offers
am watching this with interest...

Perhaps he could come into your bed so long as he is quiet? If he plays up he goes straight back to his own bed, stairgate closed.....or maybe you could leave the stairgate open so long as he stays in his room until you are ready...if he comes out, you put him back and shut the gate.

With the meltdown thing, try not to worry, they ALL do it and actually I believe it is an important part of their development; they can't learn to govern their feelings as they need to, without doing it! I think being 'wilful' as your mum says, is again part of completely normal development; I believe it's called 'individuation' and is part of the child realising they have their own opinions and are seperate from you...I think you just need to not panic at the meltdown and let him go through it. Don't worry that it means he will always be this way because he won't. And don't feel that because your mum says he is 'wilful' you have to somehow crush this out of him; one of the most effective things I found at this age with ds was to be sympathetic to him, tell him I understood he must feel awful, poor boy...then leave him to calm himself - eventually!

I do try to reason where possible. Some people think I'm mad and should take the old quote of 'spare the rod...' which I'm firmly opposed to. He's not terrible, but as you say, trying to establish his own identity. But it is difficult.

i have a ready bed on my floor in my room and my ds will come in and lay on that

if he plays about i take him to his room

he settles well and will go back to sleep until around 7

if in his room he will sleep till 6 if manages to go all the way through night

best thing is to not battle to much as negative attention is till attention

what time does he go to bed? could he be thirsty?
maybe needs to go to bed later if waking at 4 he may have had enough sleep and as they have no concept of time is very frustrating for them