What could our ground rules be for my almost 3 yr old?

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My ds is 2.8 ish and I feel he's at a pivotal time between being a normal 2 year old and turning spoiled! He's pretty good really but there's more challenging behaviour creeping in e.g. when he is having a strop at the moment, he pinches and tries to push us, and he is trying to rule the roost a bit too much.

What I mean is, I feel if we don't tighten the rules a bit and introduce more discipline he might become spoiled.

So, what ground rules do others have and what could mine be?

• What counts as totally unacceptable in your family at this age?
• What requires dealing with with whatever discipline method you use?
• What do you ignore as they are actually still quite little.

(We already use a star chart and have introduced 'calm down corner'.

The biggest rule we have is no hurting anyone or any of the animals! This is the only thing we use the 'naughty' step for...... and i tried every way possible to prevent having to use it first as well!!! Now if he hits kicks or deliberately hurts anyone it is straight onto the step no questions no 2nd chances, seems to work for us as he is doing it far less now.
I guess we use a general rule of 'is it worth the arguement', ie am i making the rule merely to make my life easier or actually to provide a structure for acceptable behaviour for ds.....
Thats a lot of waffle that probably does not answer your question!?

bump - anyone else?

I'm not the only one then! I'm after some tips too........

I always give a warning first. 'If you do that again....' My only advise is consistency. Always follow through what you say and make sure all other carers do the same. I never make threats that I can't or won'r carry out or will go back on. The number of times I've heard a mum say if you do that again we're going home, then they continue you to say it 7 times and never had any intention of going home. To me the child will learn that they can't take it seriously and will be confused when they are punished sometimes and not other times. I find it very easy to say things in anger that you don't mean.

I've found my 2.7 DS is beginning to understand right and wrong and now usually the threat of you'll go on the step is enough and he ends up being punished less and less.

I think you should deal with any behaviour that you are not happy with as I think you are teaching future behaviour. eg. If your DS throws food and you ignore it coz you think he is too young or too sweet then how will he understand when you've decided he's at an age where it's not acceptable.

I was with a mother the other day who threatened to throw her DD's favourite toy in the bin. She eventually had to do it, well you can imagine the tantrum. After 10 mins she gave her back the toy. I don't agree with that because no matter how bad she was she would always have given the toy back.

This seems to have worked with both our DS's 5yrs and 2.7yrs. Don't get me wrong they both have their moments. But espically the 5 yrs old knows when I threaten a punishment I mean it and I'm sure it's because of consistency.

What a waffle, so my advise is be consistent and don't threaten what you are not going to follow through. Sounds easy when I type it but it's not in reality.

Not sure about the star chart. I've used them with my 5 yr old for about a year but have not tried with 2.7yrs as did not think he'd understand.

Does anyone else use them?

catzy.we used 'coins in a money box' version of a star chart for ds.... then he would have the coins at the end of the week for buying something with his own money from his very own purse. He understood that he would get a reward for good behaviour at about the same age, tended to use it for short term goals though.

totally unacceptable; I guess hitting deliberately
What needs dealing with: well, not much AT ALL if you mean with formal discipline. Distraction and toddler proofing are far far better ways to deal with 99% of behaviour IMO
What do you ignore: 99% of stuff

i think you've done enough already if you've got your cool down area and you're encouraging good behaviour.

Things that worked for me with ds at this age

Talking to him all the time, smiling at him, kissing him, cuddling him, telling him he's the most gorgeous, handsome boy....because not only does this give self esteem, it gives you strategy number one to use when they're naughty; forget the cool down corner, just turning your back and giving a stern look can be enough if what he usually gets is that much positive attention

Having a sense of humour - vital. Do not approach life with a straight face!

Distraction, distraction, distraction, etc etc etc - if they are doing something pesky, do not jump straight to "I must discipline" just have default mode of "what can I give them to do instead?" By doing this you are not creating an undisciplined child but a happy and occupied one who knows that you save your 'discipline' for when all else has failed

Had to use 'time out' with ds, oh less than about ten times, he's six this year. And he had his challenging times believe me, but this is what worked for me.