Panic mode - non verbal at 3 ASD?

[Rara88Cas]

I appreciate the world of neurodivergence isn’t black and white,however, im looking for some reassurance that my child’s development issue may not be as severe as Im fearing!
My son is 3 next month and doesn’t really speak.
He can say words, but not necessarily in the correct context but will repeat words and phrases from TV such as ‘Grandpa pig’ he sings songs clearly, can count (and read/identity) numbers and is pretty much there with the alphabet.
he understands some instructions ‘come here’ ‘sit down for dinner’ ‘turn it on’ ‘get in the car’ etc and will sometimes repeat the last word or say please or thank you.
however there’s very little conversational language, if he wants something he will
guide me to an object or a room.
he also stimms, not through distress, only excitement. He will use tiptoes if not wearing shoes, jig up and down, bounce and hand flap, pinch and sometimes bite when excited.
nursery have agreed to do a referral for more funding to help with his speech and interactions mainly due to him biting other children, and the HV is coming on Thursday.
Im terrified that he will never live a normal
life or being able to
communicate with me like other children, as the only answer I’m finding to his delays and behaviours are autism.
he does like lining toys up and likes pairing up toys in each hand, and he’s very good at using tech, I’m just scared that all the things I thought were cute or a sign of intelligence are actually a sign of a disability.
Is there anyone out there that has had a child like this at 3 but they ended up without a diagnosis or with only a mild diagnosis with minimal impact to the child’s life?
I don’t wish to offend anyone, I’m just scared for him ♥️

My DD was non-verbal at 3 but when she did start to speak it came in quite quickly. She went from being non-verbal to speaking in full sentences in a couple of days.

Yes she does have ASD, well she's on the Pathway but we've been told that she does show some significant ASD traits.

Her speech isn't perfect. You wouldn't know if you spoke to her but she can't express how she's feeling at all so will just say she's fine when she's not or yell. We're waiting for an SaLT appointment as part of her assessment.

If he does have ASD his life will be different to the one you envisioned and it's ok to grieve that but it doesn't necessarily mean that his life will be awful. DD is kind and funny. She attends college, has a job which she loves and has a really lovely boyfriend and BF. She seems to be able to choose the most lovely supportive people to be on her life.

Before you see the HV I'd do this SaLT progress checker. If it says "you answered no to some important questions" you can request a call back with one of their SLTs.

I'd also print off the 3 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and have that filled in ready for the HV to score.

And I'd do the same with the 3 year Ages & Stages.

It's quite normal for them to score in the Frey for a couple of areas but if it's more than that, please insist that your DS is referred to a Paediatrician for assessment. Do not let the HV adopt the "let's wait and see" approach.

I'd also ask her to refer him for a hearing test so that glue ear or low hearing can be ruled out and ask her fir a referral to SaLT.

It might be worth heading on over to the SN Children Section too to ask for advice on applying for an ECHP

This is super helpful thank you, and a huge reassurance that your daughter still has a lovely fulfilled life.
Ill start looking through the forms straight away.

Let us know how you get on with the HV

Hi, let us know how you get on. I have many shared worries about my son.
He just turned 3 and can also has speech delay and shows worrying behaviour. Mainly names objects, at best 2 word phrases like "wash teeth", "open door". He does understand some directions, however often chooses to show that he is unsatisfied with it and makes an odd sound to say "no" that sounds like "aaaarhg". He can perfectly count 1-30 and knows his ABC and recognises letters. Knows many words and can sing various songs like twinkle twinkle ... but does know how to socially communicate. He is often distracted, often on a move, doesn't like just to sit down ... Enjoys mostly the toys that move, bounce, make noise and other ways entertain him. Invited me always to throw a ball, turn the car (self riding) to him. Doesn't lien toys up, can keep eye contact, but I noticed minor eye stimming, when he runs past something- he glances sideways. Or sometimes spins his head a little looking to the corner of his eye. But it is not too repetitive. I don't know if he is just normal neurotypical child or does he have some developmental issues... it's been absolutely eating up my life lately...

Reading these posts it's like you all are in my head!
I too have been feeling consumed with what my dd life is going to be like, it's taking the joy out of everything. She will be 3 early next year and is only really able to parrot or label objects, she knows her numbers and A-Z but is unable to communicate her needs whatsoever and can only follow very basic instructions.
Does anyone else's child seem to be really frustrated all the time? DD is usually such a happy little thing but I do think not being able to express herself/ talk is really frustrating her.
I find myself trawling the internet most nights looking for other peoples stories and praying she will get past this stage.
I love her so much and just want the best for her.

Have you spoken to your HV yet @ForeverHopeful67?

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto I called them a little while ago and they brushed me off saying she'll get there in her own time and then said to try speech and language in a few months if she hasn't progressed. I've self referred to S & L twice but each time they see us just the once after waiting months and just say to keep doing what we're doing. I feel like we're getting nowhere! I've self referred to OT too to see if they will help, not sure if there is anything else I can try? But open to any suggestions!

@ForeverHopeful67 we were equally brushed off and HV adopted the wait and see approach.

I would book an appointment with your HV. Tell her that you suspect that DD needs assessing and you want her to do the Social & Emotional Ages and Stages as well as the regular 3 year Ages & Stages Assessment. Then fill them both in and take the completed forms to the appointment with you.

Using both together should give her a clearer picture of how your DD is struggling.