Anxious 1st time mum

[BunBun10]

I have DS who is currently 5 months old and I adore him but am struggling so much with anxiety regarding his development. I have spoken to a doctor about this.

I have noticed that he gives limited eye contact, especially when being held up close. When held up close he will try to look anywhere but at your face. No matter how much you try. This seems to be worse with me and his dad as he will occasionally give other people some eye contact when up close. When lying on his back he also occasionally gives some eye contact but it can be hard to gain his attention. He also gives some eye contact to people who are not holding him when he is being held by another person. For example, if I was holding him and his dad stood a metre or 2 away and spoke to him he would give him eye contact and smile.

I have also noticed that he doesn't turn to find voices the majority of the time. If he is lying on his play mat and you speak to him it's like he doesn't hear you even though I know he can hear as he jumps at noises. It's like he's not interested. Although he has sometimes turned when someone spoke/called his name from across the room but this isn't consistent.

He makes sometime makes squealing and other noises but these seem to come in phases. He can go a day making lots of noise then days where he just makes a grunting noise.

Obviously I felt the need to google this even though I knew it was a bad idea and spent a few days resisting the temptation. I just couldn't help myself. This has made my anxiety 10 times worse as all that seem to come up is autism although this wouldn't change anything about the way I love my DS. I don't want all this anxiety to effect the enjoyment of my baby as I know they aren't little for long but I just can't seem to put it to the back of my mind.

My son is 7.5 months old and I think he had better eye contact when he was like 3 or 4 months old. There’s so many distractions now that he often looks around at other people or toys etc, but I don’t think it’s necessarily something to worry about. It’s great that he’ll give eye contact and smile when he notices you from a distance.

Also with the squealing noises - mine also goes through phases of being really loud, babbling, shrieking etc and other days where he’s just not so noisy.

I think that a lot of normal things that babies do can be ‘signs’ of autism - if you’ve ever seen any of those insta posts about early signs people noticed there’s often 100’s of people commenting that they’re just normal baby things. I believe you can’t really tell until a child is a few years old, so you don’t want to spend the next couple of years worrying about it. Sounds to me like he’s doing everything a baby does.
Try not to analyse everything he’s doing / not doing. They all learn and develop skills at different times.

Thank you for replying, he did use to give better eye contact at 3/4 months but like you say I'm guessing he's just getting more interested in his environment.

I'm honestly driving myself crazy, I keep trying to tell myself to stop worrying so much otherwise I'll spend more time stressing myself out rather than enjoying my baby and I don't want to regret this time in a few years

Mine is also 5 months old and is just fascinated by EVERYTHING. This is totally normal at this stage. “Sorry mum and dad, you just aren’t as interesting anymore as the light shade or the curtains”. Disinterest/ looking away can also be a sign of overstimulation as they are taking so much in right now, so I really wouldn’t worry just yet.

As for the shrieking and random noises, these are also completely normal. They are finding their voices (and the volume!) and it is a normal part of language development.

I have post natal anxiety around my son’s development but it’s mainly to do with muscular/gross motor stuff. Funny how these things go isn’t it.
anyway, he’s 4.5 months old, the health visitor has just been and said he was on track and he sounds very similar to your son. Some days he will smile a lot and make good eye contact. Other days he won’t. Some days he will squeal and other days he’ll be quite quiet.
i think it’s normal.

Here’s an update on my little one for anyone who has come across my post looking for the same reassurance I was at this stage.

My little one is now nearly 17 months old and he is very chatty, and interacts with everyone, says hiya to every person we walk passed in the street. I now have no concerns although occasionally my anxiety will creep up and put little lies into my head which I am able to control better. I would say if you are having these thoughts and worries about your little one, just give it time, they will get there and you’ll wonder what all the worrying was about, just enjoy this age whilst you can as it really doesn’t last very long.