When does kids play become less 'fighty'

[warmmfeet]

DS1 is in reception. I've noticed from watching him at parties, play dates and in the playground after school that the play he engages in is very physical and it's a lot of play fighting, rough and tumble and wrestling.

He's told me he doesn't really like this and one of the other kids told him he's 'not very strong'.

I think he's struggling to make friends a bit so joins in with this to feel accepted.

Just wondering - do they grow out of this fighty stage of play? I think he'd prefer more imaginative play, proper games etc

I do remember DS, who is usually the kindest boy, being sat down with his Friends and being told that they could no longer play Power Rangers as too many DC we're getting hurt. I also remember with both of them there was a lot of reinforcement from the Teacher in Reception about keeping your hands and feet to yourself.

Can't remember when they grow out of it but DS occasionally goes to the Pub with some of the same boys and he's not mentioned fighting with them !

I think the important thing though isn't how your DS was playing at the party, it's how all of the boys were behaving and if your DS seems out of step.

If you are concerned, you could speak to the Teacher

Thanks @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto

I'm going to talk to the teacher at parents evening this week.

I am hoping it's just a case of lots of new kids together trying to figure out where they fit etc and not knowing how to play properly.

Your poor DS. My DS doesn’t like this sort of play unless it’s with children he knows well and is really comfortable with (brother or best friend). His new reception classmates are so rough and there’s been lots of tears at parties when they’ve approached him and hit him (playfully, I can see, but really rough).

My older DS never enjoyed this sort of play and has like minded friends, they have always liked imaginary play, role play, football stickers/cards and now that they’re in Y4 they sometimes swap books and read together at break time!

Hopefully your DS will find his tribe, just make sure he knows he doesn’t have to play what he doesn’t enjoy.

Hopefully your DS will find his tribe, just make sure he knows he doesn’t have to play what he doesn’t enjoy.

That's such a good point and can take done reinforcement.

"If you don't like what they are playing, it's five to go and find someone else to play with".

Thanks both. It's transpired one of the children is sort of possessive of my DS and 'won't let' him play with anyone else. Drags him off to the sandpit etc. I tried to problem solve / role play how he could avoid this as this boy plays v rough and my son has said he is sad because he is missing out playing with the kids he likes. That's not been effective so I spoke to the teacher who said she will keep an eye and pair them off with other kids if needs be.

I really hope he finds his tribe soon! And I hope my DS find the confidence to speak up and stick up for himself.