Ex accusing me of munchausen by proxy

[Listen2YourMother]

My son is 2 and a half. He’s always shown signs of autism ever since he was a baby.

His dad is accusing me of making up autism traits and blames his developmental delays on being a pandemic baby.

I have already seen a paediatrician and they’ve requested an autism assessment because he shows in her words ‘autistic characteristics’

I’ve had several professionals tell me that they believe he has autism e.g. health visitor, key workers, GP, paeds ect

its obvious to everyone except his dad.

I hate that he blames me for everything and just ignores my son’s needs. Just feel broken and fed up that I’m constantly being bullied by him because I’m ‘wrong’

what would you do? A diagnosis is over 2 years away, not sure how much longer I can go on dealing with unhelpful ex

I should add, he is a deadbeat, doesn’t provide financially for my son since he’s out of work. Refuses to have him overnight until he’s talking even though he’s non-verbal and constantly makes lame excuses as to why he can’t see him

Why are you involving him at all? Surely it would be easier to stop speaking to him.

@ConnieTucker because we have a court order in place, I’m required to speak to him to arrange contact and tell him about what’s happening ect

If he wont see him, why?

can you not just email ‘child is fine’

multiple reasons e.g. going to a stag do, seeing his girlfriend, going to a christening, allegedly not very well

No i meant if he is refusing to see the child, why do you need to speak to him?

Just stop giving him so much information.

As hard as it probably is I do agree with Connie. Set up a new email address just for communication with him.

Tell him that from now on if he wants to speak to you about DS he can email you at that address and if it's an emergency when he has DS he can text you.

Then send him a weekly email with something that DS has done that week. A bit like

"DS enjoyed playing with the trains at playgroup. Let me know when you would like to arrange to see him again.

Listen".

That way you'll be keeping to your Court Order but not engaging and using up your valuable energy and time.

If he does send you anything that's not to do with when he will see DS, ignore it.

How are you doing apart from this? Are you able to apply for DLA? Are you able to access a SN Nursery or Playgroup? What's local the SN/ASD support group like?

Forgot to ask, has DS had a hearing test and is he getting any SaLT?

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto ive applied for DLA, still waiting to here back. Hearing test was all clear and starting speech and language next month

he’s not in nursery

Glad you've applied for DLA. That might go some way to help towards the lack of money from your ExP.

Also glad that DS passed his hearing test and SaLT is starting. My DD was non-verbal and SaLT really helped. Also, getting her glasses oddly improved her speech. I think she was too shortsighted to see out lips moving before, poor love.

Are there any SN Nurseries, playgroups or schools in your area?