do u have days when you shout at your child and feel guilty

[bigboydiditandranaway]

ds wouldn't have his nap today and was really grumpy and to be honest i was a bit too and i shouted at him a few times. feel horrible about it now.

My siter apparently shouted so badly at hers when they were little her neighbours were going to report her to social services. I used to advise she should try just to lose the room when she got to feel like that, calm down and then go back and try not to shout.

It does not harm for children to know adults make mistakes anyway.

What I have noticed is now much they mirror your mood. If they're tired and cross and fighting and I'm calm or distract them with a joke or whatever they're much better. My mother was good like that too - she'd do the distraction thing, get us or later her grandchildren to look at the bird in the garden (which probably didn't even exist) to get their interest.

I don't think mother alone with child is really a very healthy or natural dynamic. We shoudl be in social groups perhaps with grandparents around or other parents, the spouse, big families with siblings. I find it much easier with 3 adult chldren around than if it were just the younger 2 just with me. perhaps mothers should set up mummycams linked to a friend's house or their husbanmd's office so they know they're being spied on and then behave better.

Most mornings trying to get ready for school. None of us are very good at that time of day. Wake up every morning saying, today I'll remain calm - it's impossible, but we make up on the way to school.

I am terrible in the mornings so I let the kids get on with getting ready then appear and cut the bread for the pack lunches and send them out the door. we have worked out the schedule for getting ready and they know what to do and in what order, they know what is expected of them and intereaction is minimal, I just remind them of the time to keep them on track.

I am honest with the kids now if I feel I have overdone it and shouted at them to much or been too grumpy, I will say sorry to them and explain perhaps why I was like that, but my two are a bit older now.

Oh funny some one mentioned the film crew thing, I remember suggesting that years ago on here too, just pretend its reality TV and imagine what the viewers think off you, then you can put on an act and get through the momment.

I wish the mum I hear regularly at the swimming pool would imagine that or even just remember the entire changing room can hear her ranting and raving, every week, she gets so high pitched only small children and dogs can make her out anyway, I would be mortified if that was me and I suddenly remembered I was ranting in public.

If you've counted on them having a nap and they don't you can feel REALLY cheated and hard done by.

yes

Isn't it part of being a parent, the shouting thing? I didn't for the first couple of years, but eventually the honeymoon period disappeared and I was faced (occasionally) with Damon from the Omen.

I figure shouting isn't the worst thing you can do...and I always apologise if I was in the wrong (which has happened occasionally) and I've always explained why I shouted, once I've calmed down.

DD is now 7 and is arguing for Britain. Everything we ask her to do, she asks why; everything we try to tell her, she knows; every comment she makes at times is laden with sarcasm and hostility. Do I shout? yes. Should I? Probably not. But one of the most important things I've ever taught dd is that no-ones perfect.

Why she thinks still thinks this doesn't apply to her, I have NO idea!

Thank you soo much for your support. I usually loose my temper with ds when we are both tired, but knowing other people feel the same is good.

And like one of you said it just proves you're not perfect, a good mum though