We’ve been pulled aside for the umpteenth time since DS started school a few weeks ago to discuss his behaviour. He’s in trouble again for fighting with one of his friends. I do think some of it is just being silly and getting overexcited (neither DS nor his friend seem to have been hurt or upset by the incident having spoken to his mum) but he is also lashing out.
We speak about kind hands, moving away from conflict, and talking to an adult if you have a problem etc. every single day. We’ve tried consequences (no TV, toys removed etc.), bribery (offer of a treat if he can go all week without being physical), lots of praise and reassurance, talking through calming techniques etc. Nothing seems to be making a difference. When we speak to school they don’t seem to have any constructive advice. After every conversation he says he won’t do it again and then he goes to school the next day and it all goes out of his head.
I can count on one hand the number of times that he had any issues at nursery. I don’t know if this is just because their behaviour expectations were lower or if he genuinely was just calmer there.
He is awaiting an autism assessment but is very ‘high functioning’ in terms of his vocabulary, maths, reading, writing etc. I do suspect he’s probably a bit bored learning about basic phonics and simple addition when he’s well above that. Not that this excuses his behaviour by any means, but I do wonder if he doesn’t need redirecting a bit. He definitely struggles to understand when others have had enough - for example when playing with his sister, if she stops laughing and becomes upset it won’t register.
I’m going to try to have a chat with the SENCO about behaviour management strategies. His teachers say he’s ok if they are ‘on him’ all the time but obviously this isn’t practical with 20-odd other 4/5 year olds. I can feel he’s in fight of flight mode all the time at the moment. Literally anything ‘negative’ (eg. Being asked not to do something, being asked to do something he doesn’t want to) at home is met with screaming, hiding, running away etc. I don’t know if he’ll settle once he’s more used to school or this is it now.
I guess I just want to know if others have had difficulties with behaviour at the start of reception and whether it did improve with time? I’m really worrying about him.