AIBU to not let son play Lego before school

[warmmfeet]

4 year old DS has just started school and is still adjusting, he's sometimes loving it, sometimes not so much.

The change has had a big impact on him especially his sleep. He's always been an early riser but now gets up between 4:30-5am. He says it's because he wants a lot of time to play Lego before school. He's so incredibly tired but even at the weekend he's getting up that early also now and he won't nap, I can't even trick him into a car nap anymore (he's very defiant and stubborn).

So AIBU to not allow him access to Lego before school in the hopes he'll stay in bed and get more rest? Btw he is utterly obsessed with Lego and it's really all he cares about. So I don't know if it's too cruel of me to do this at a time when he's already upset and struggling with getting used to school. I do know it would help him enormously to get a few more hours of sleep!
Obviously I am also tired.

AIBU?

I think you're right to not do Lego before school and if he does wake and ask for it, to remind him that's an activity for when he's been to school and come home.

How's school going? If he's struggling with sleep, is stubborn and has an obsession most if could be normal 4 year old behaviour but this does sound a little extreme.

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto thanks. I'll stick to my guns. School seems ok, his teacher said he's a superstar in the classroom he just seems to collapse / explode at home. It's definitely put him into a spin and he's still settling in. He's said he loves it and loves his teacher some days, he's also he's gone in crying a few times because he wanted to stay at home.
Teacher has raised no concerns but I do also find him quite extreme at times

Of the Teacher has raised concerns have they made any suggestions like asking the HV to do 4 year Social & Emotional Assessment or getting their SENCO to assess him?

The teacher hasn't raised any concerns, she's only said he's a superstar in the classroom, behaves well, controls his emotions appropriately etc. He just seems to explode at home.

Thanks for that info tho I will take a glance at that assessment

So sorry I totally misread your last sentence and thought that the Teacher had raised concerns.

Both of mine are ND. Both behaved brilliantly at School and not only did they not raise any issues they didn't believe me when I told them how the DC behaved at home.

Oh really wow. I do have a nagging feeling he might be ND. But I thought if he is able to behave so well at school and control everything then that wouldn't be possible.

His main problems to me are regulating his emotions and he can be pretty rigid / often struggles with transitions even with plenty of warning.

I've worked with adults with autism for many years and I don't think he has autism but maybe adhd?

What has helped you with your ND children ?

Oh really wow. I do have a nagging feeling he might be ND. But I thought if he is able to behave so well at school and control everything then that wouldn't be possible

That's just called masking. Lots of people with ASD, young and old can get through a School/College/Work day but are a wreck at home.

His main problems to me are regulating his emotions and he can be pretty rigid / often struggles with transitions even with plenty of warning.

Regulating emotions can be ADHD but also ASD I think? Not coping with transitions is definitely more ASD.

What has helped you with your ND children?

One got diagnosed with mainly inattentive ADHD as an adult. Things that helped him were lots good nutrition including a high protein diet, study tips fir people with ADHD and lots of sport to help to regulate him.

He meditates, runs and plays sport still after his diagnosis.

The you get one is being assessed for ADHD & ASD although we've been told that the likely outcome will be diagnosis for both.

We/they also think she has Dyslexia, ARFID and done PDA traits.

We use a lots of strategies that help people with PDA, sport, lots of downtime and lots of forewarning.

It depends if you can make time. I just let mine play for 15 mins. Its perfect, it saves a lot of arguments. He's naturally up at 6am anyway so he has time.