Putting a clingy 2 year old into nursery….

[Sophie2525]

My anxiety is through the roof just thinking about it. My mum has DS 2 days a week whilst I’m working, due to a long story I need an extra day of childcare. Nursery seems the only option, I am terrified. I know nursery is very good for their development etc, but DS has bad separation anxiety, he’s very clingy to me. When I leave him with my mum he gets sad, he won’t let his dad take him to bed because he only wants me.

I know it sounds unhealthy but I absolutely hate the thought of him being so sad, if I leave him with stangers he will be terrified. He loves playing with children, I take him to lots of toddler groups, but if I’m not there he will freak out. I just can’t see me dropping him off a screaming, it doesn’t feel natural. I was the same as a child, my mum ended up staying at play group with me (she didn’t work)

as I said I know nursery is good for them, but he’s such an anxious toddler, do you think it’s wrong for me to send him to nursery?

Please never apologise or assume it’s unhealthy to want your child to feel emotionally happy.

im not saying the following to make you feel worse or better, but nursery and playgroup etc is still a pretty new thing in our society. Babies and toddlers aren’t meant to be in childcare they are meant to be with their mother just like every other animal on the planet. We only started using nurseries and playgroups when women started going out to work

of course there are some benefits to childcare. And I’m with you, I personally could never leave my child in a childcare setting, but I’m also aware that not everyone is lucky enough to have the choice of being at home with their child

if you can avoid using childcare then great but if not, then unfortunately you’ll have to use it. I don’t think you’re wrong for sending him though, you’re just doing what you have to do.

FWIW I don’t think he’s an anxious child just because he dislikes being away from you. He sounds like a normal lovely little boy who simply wants to be around his mum at such a young age. You also sound like a fab mum who just wants the best for him!

Would a CM in a smaller setting be easier for him?

Does his SF take him out ever without you being their to help to build up their relationship?