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7 year old fussy eater

5 replies

emj84 · 28/09/2023 09:10

Hi ladies, my 7 Yr old dd has over the last couple of months become very fussy and unsure on certain foods.
A bit of info about her, she was diagnosed with dyslexia back in June, she is currently waiting on a referral for asd and adhd/add. She has always eaten well, fruits, veg, meats, skin on the food. Now she won't eat sausages as she says she can't chew the skin, anything with skin on she will either want cut off or not eat. But when she does sit at the table she is quite fidgety, she will always ask to get down and go to the toilet , atleast once if not twice while at the table. Even when we give her the food she has asked for eg bland, plain foods or foods we know she will like and eat, she still can be a bit fussy she will check the bits of food pick off any mark or anything on it, pull things apart. Another thing is she has started eating more things with her hands (we do say use ur knife and fork) which she does for a bit then we have to say it again cos she's gone back to using her hands again.
I have spoke to her teacher about it , she eats her lunch at school , she has strawberrys in her lunch and will eat them if there are no marks on them, Bananas are the same , she won't eat grapes which she loved before cos of the skin. She eats sandwiches (thins). Yogurt, jelly, dunkers, cucumber with skin off, skips , wot sits or cheddars. And a biscuit.
But her teacher did say (his daughter has asd) she could be doing it for attention as she knows she gets attention when she does it , or it could be a symptom of asd etc.
But how do I know why she is doing it? I feel its gone too far for just attention. My husband is in the mind set that she cud be doing it for attention as he can't get his head round it being a symptom of something as she's always been good eater. She had school dinners up till last term and was always one of the best eaters in her class, she's tall and slim and I worry she is going to lose weight not get what she needs from what she's eating. It's a very stressful, worrying time , my next step would be doctors but I don't rate my drs at all. I do have a meeting with the head of SENCO at her school on Monday so will discuss it with her too. But it's been creeping in for the last 8 was, and I have been told this age is when you will start to notice changes, symptoms of asd etc . I'm very confused and don't know whether to allow her to eat what she wants to eat and just encourage and try new things off my plate or what to do , can't force feed her . Sorry for long post, just hoping someone may have experienced this themselves and have some advice , thanks

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emj84 · 28/09/2023 09:20

Also just to add, I have spoke to her, and I asked her about it, I have noticed lately aswell , that when I try and have a conversation with her , she will look like she is listening , and then as soon as I stop talking she asks me a random unrelated question, some days she will face me but look like she is thinking other things as I'm talking , I speak to her in a quite place with few distractions but it doesn't seem to make much difference, I ask her if she understood what I just said and she can repeat most of it, but still doesn't seem to take it in. Have been told this can be a symptom of adhd/add , her brain doesn't switch off and she is constantly thinking of things which is where the random question comes from? Just don't know what to do,her behaviour in general has got worse at home with me, not so much her dad. And at the dinner table she seems to have reverted back to a toddler she will put food on the table cloth, drop bits on the floor but try and do it thinking I can't see? X

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KiwiDip · 29/09/2023 09:14

Some of it could be you are now more aware of things because of the diagnosis process. I think once it starts, you pick up on so many things you may have just thought were part of her personality before. You'll be very aware of everything she does too and will be looking out for things that you may not have noticed before.

For the eating, it sounds like it could be linked to the ASD side of things. It's very common for children with ASD to be very sensitive with foods.

If you're worried it may be for attention, just give her the food and leave her to it. As long as she's eating something, she will be okay. If she picks things off, let her. If she really won't eat certain foods, could you make sure you give her a safe food the next day?

Also, does she know about the potential diagnosis? If she does, that could be playing a massive part in it for the eating.

I hope you manage to get some help soon. The diagnosis process is long and frustrating!

emj84 · 29/09/2023 09:50

Thank you for your reply. She doesnt know about the awaiting referrals or her dyslexia diagnosis, we are going to e plain it to her when she is a bit older possibly Yr 6, her dad is dyslexic and he manages very well. We haven't told her at the moment as she does fixate on things and worries so we didn't want her worrying amd not quite understanding it aswell. We have decided to cook stuff she will eat for the time being , and keep things relaxed at dinner , last night she ate plain chicken, potato, brocolli and cooked carrots, she said she would be happy to eat that every day , I'm taking that as a win as she's eating and it's good stuff. I think everything has just got to me lately and I've been worrying but not talking about it and it all got bit much . I think because she is our only one I do tend to watch things and notice more, and the teachers are picking up on things telling me and I'm like oh yeah she does that I didn't think about it before. Whatever the diagnosis she is still going to be her and have her little ways either way its just who she is xx

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KiwiDip · 29/09/2023 22:05

Aww it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job.

It's a really difficult process to go through. It can feel very isolating too and depending on where you are, there's not always much out there to support.

Does your school do any parent coffee mornings for SEN?

It's bound to feel like a lot at the moment, but just remember you are doing amazingly, and looking out for your little girl. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to help her ☺️

emj84 · 30/09/2023 08:37

Thank you 😊
It's very worrying , the school are a big help they are very supportive , and I have regular chats with her teacher. They do have coffee mornings but I have always had work on the morning they have had them so far.
We have a meeting with the Head of SEN on Monday, to go over things . X

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