Has anyone thought their child had autism (or similar) - but in the end they haven't?

[D74]

Hi girls (and dads!)...I don't post v often but could really do with some advice (am drawing a blank with my 'mum friends'!)

My younger daughter is 2.5 and a twin. She was a rather quiet baby and young toddler although is now making up for it a bit!

It's hard to put my finger on what I'm trying to say but my husband and I have always felt there's something 'not quite right' with her. Her speech is a little delayed for her age (there again her twin brothers' isn't much better) and to be honest, I probably don't give any of the kids enough individual attention - I have a 4 yr old as well, plus I work etc etc - the usual story.

More worryingly though is that she'll do occasional v odd and 'random' things - almost like she goes into 'spasm' mode: funny shrill vocal outbursts, chattering 'nonsence', wringing her hands etc etc. She also has a worryingly lack of any sense of danger - eg she'll sit on a sofa arm and just let herself 'fall' onto the floor, then cry her head off as if to say 'how did that happen?'

That said, I have gone online to various autism websites and a lot of the other 'pointers' don't ring true: she does seem to play with imagination, she has eye contact, she is affectionate, she enjoys other kids' company....

I've done some research on dyspraxia too and again there are some similarities - the lack of sense of danger / the fact that she is a v messy eater and seems unable to hold / grasp her spoon properly and still can't really use a fork.

I'm seeing her health visitor next wk but am worried as she's very much the 'old school' type who always says things like "don't worry about it - I'm sure she'll grow out of this..."

Funnily enough, I got a book out from the library on autism spectrum disorders and only small chunks of it seemed relevant for her behaviour. Yet there really seems smthg a bit...odd (?!) about my daughter sometimes

I'm not explaining this v well am I?!

Pls someone reply - and feel free to tell me I'm being an over-anxious mother - again!! x

ask your hv for a referral, it isn't up to her to make any assumptions about whether or not your dd has autism or anything else.

I had the same sort of HV, who actually told me to 'plase stop thinking of him like that'. My ds1 also never quite fitted all of the autism check boxes, but he has dyspraxia, and autistic traits.

She still is very young, and you will probably find it a lot easier to tell as she gets older. Hopefully she will grow out of it, and there won't be any problems, but I don't think it would hurt to get your concerns checked out and on the system early, as there are such long waiting lists for anything.

If you are worried then I would seek a referral. I totally agree with Chopster's advice.

We picked up on some problems when my DD1 was a toddler and she was finally diagnosed as having PDD-NOS (pervasive development disorder - not otherwise specified) a couple of years ago. Now, with the right help, she is doing really well. I wish that I could have looked into the future when she was two and see just how well she would come on.

Good luck with your little girl.

Patsy

other posters are right- if you're worried get it checked out

just a note on the language thing- it's a well known trend that twins are somewhat delayed in langauge aquisition (though to be becasue of course they don't get quite the same one on one interaction). It's perfectly normal and also won't affect their language in the end- also not to be something to worry you've done anything wrong- parents with one child can hothouse their offspring in to early langauage aquisition if they have the time and want to.... but it has no lasting affect (early langauage is nothing to do with how clever you are whether you'll go to university, how happy you'll end up etc etc... )

thanks for posts - all v helpful. x