Shoving another child

[BabiesEverywhere]

Took my 18 month old DD to a group today and most of the time she was well behaved and played well enough. Even kissed and cuddled one little boy...aww

But she actively shoved one older girl twice. The first time I told her that was unaccepted behaviour and checked the child was alright. The second time I remembered something I think I read here and made a big fuss of the shoved child and ignored my own Is that the right way to discourage shoving, I was horrified as she has never done anything like that before.

I'd say do both. Make sure your DD knows it's unacceptable and give attention to the child she shoved. It's not nice to see our children behaving like that, but she obviously wasn't very happy about something and she needs to learn the right and wrong way of dealing with it. Doesn't make her a bad child (she sounds lovely) and makes you a great Mum for trying to find the right way to deal with it. It's been a long time since mine were this age but am sure others will be along to advise.

Thanks I know it doesn't make her a bad child, she is far too young, I am worried I have failed to teach her better. My fault not hers, she is such a sunny child (with the odd tandrum)

Sounds fine. You have not failed to teach her - don't worry. When DS was around 2 he went through a stage of biting. I was mortified because he (obviously) never gets bitten by us.. but the nursery staff told us that some kids just do. We perservered - saying no each time and paying attention to the wounded child and eventually he stopped.

I would say that you have dealt with it right both times.It's important to pay attention to the other child first, then take your girl apart and tell her that it's wrong and that she cannot push other children. Then, if you want to, you can take her to the child that she pushed, and ask her to appologise. Obviously at 18 months she can't do that, but what I used to do is to encourage my child to give the other child a toy - as a way of 'making peace'. Obviously there are loads of way of dealing with this, but I think that as long as you are consistent and let your child know that it's not acceptable, you are doing the right thing. And don't worry all toddlers do this, at one point or another!

I'll have to grow a thicker skin and be consistant with her.