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Worried 4y8m school starter is getting a reputation as the naughty kid

7 replies

readingmakesmehappy · 20/09/2023 11:27

DS is bright, funny, sweet, kind at his best. But he doesn't do well with frustration and is quick to throw things or lash out if he gets upset/frustrated. He's already spent an afternoon in the head's office after lashing out at his teacher, and yesterday was sent to sit in the corner of another classroom to remove him from his. At his first class birthday party he pulled off the birthday boy's glasses, and the other kid was understandably upset. He's also started having accidents at school again, which is usually a sign that he's unsettled. School say it's nothing they haven't seen before but that his behaviour is also on the extreme end.
We did have similar challenges at nursery, so this hasn't come out of nowhere. I'm so worried though that he's going to get a reputation as the naughty kid which might follow him and which he might try to act up to. He loves a lot of things about school and was very ready for it but also finds it 'too strict'. Has anyone got any advice about how to help him manage these frustrations and learn that he can't respond that way? The school uses a breathing technique which we're going to introduce at home.

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Vestisbest · 22/09/2023 09:12

Have you considered neurodivergence, ADHD or Autism?

I would set up a meeting with the teacher to help identify triggers, and discuss what accommodations they can make, and how they will deal with the incidences. Agree a way forward.

readingmakesmehappy · 22/09/2023 13:31

@Vestisbest I had wondered about ADHD, but he didn't seem to show as many indicators as some of the check lists I looked at. As he's our eldest I don't really have a benchmark for what's just him and what's expected for kids that age

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skkyelark · 22/09/2023 14:39

Was there a handover from nursery to school in terms of what worked for him at nursery? You say there were challenges there, so they also saw the behaviour and presumably have some ideas on what helped or didn't? Could you ask them for this information (or more details, if there was a handover) to pass on to school?

I've heard quite a few people recommend Ross Greene's book, The Explosive Child, but haven't read it myself.

readingmakesmehappy · 22/09/2023 22:06

@skkyelark no nursery handover. I haven't heard of that book and have ordered it, thank you

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 24/09/2023 21:51

I would ask your HV to do the Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and see how he scores. Obviously tell them the difficulty that he's having settling in at school Flowers

Worriedmotheroftwo · 25/09/2023 22:05

Hey. Same issue here, with my almost 5 year old Reception son. I also read Ghe Explosive Child, and it's excellent, but not that helpful when the issues are in school. I also suspect ADHD for my son, but they won't assess until he's 6.

readingmakesmehappy · 27/09/2023 12:14

@Worriedmotheroftwo I haven't read much of it yet so good to hear it's useful for at home at least.

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