Almost 2 year old developmental delays

[WorriedMother96]

My son will be 2 in November so not far away, I have a lot of concerns about his development, contacted the health visitors a few months ago and they said to wait until his 2 year review as he might catch up by then. As we get closer to his 2nd birthday and nothing has changed I contacted them again and again they've said to wait until his 2 year review.

The concerns I have are; His only word was dada for 9 months, he's just started saying mama in the last few weeks. No other words

He can't point, wave, blow kisses, only started to clap in the past week.

He seems to struggle with his fine motor skills, like he can't stack blocks, he struggles with one of those pop up toys, he can't use any cutlery, he can stack rings though.

He bangs his head a lot on purpose, like sometimes he will lay on the floor and bang his head against it, bang toys against his head, or bang his head on doors. He will do this regardless of if he's upset or happy.

He doesn't seem to understand words, like if I ask him to get a shoe he doesn't.

This all makes it really hard for me to understand what he wants, like he will come to me and just cry and I have to figure out what he wants. And I see him get frustrated when he can't do something and then he will cry or throw the toy. It's horrible to see my little boy struggle like this.

Sorry for the long post, really just looking to know if anyone else has experienced this and what the outcomes were, or what I can expect to happen if he hasn't caught up by his 2year review

Hi OP, from what you've described it sounds like your son could be autistic. My DD is almost 3 but I have been concerned about her development since last year. She still has no words and is most likely autistic. I spoke to a few different health visitors and explained the lack of pointing and words and they didn't seem too concerned. She was referred for a hearing test and that was fine so when I spoke to the health visitor after this, they said to wait for the two year check like you've been told.

When she was your son's age, my DD could clap and wave but stopped waving a few months after turning two. She could stack blocks and rings but preferred more destructive play, eg. knocking down towers I'd built. She can use a spoon but can't really properly use a fork. She still can't point, blow kisses, nod her head yes or shake her head no. She also struggles with those pop up toys and doesn't do a lot of imaginary play. I had no concerns about my DD's development until around 15 months when her first words hadn't emerged and nor had pointing.

She scored low across the board at the two year check (except for gross motor skills) and zero for communication. I explained my concerns about autism but the lady wasn't fully convinced and said she'd review her again in 6 months. But then a more senior colleague came to see us at home and agreed to refer to NHS speech and language therapy (still waiting to be seen). And a month later we were referred to portage (a portage worker comes to our house twice a month to help DD build her play skills). A few months after the 2 year check, I went to the GP with a list of my concerns and they agreed to refer her to the paediatrician (apparently it can be an 18 month wait to be seen initially). The two year check wasn't repeated as it's now quite clear why she is delayed.

My advice to you would be try speaking to the GP even before the 2 year check (or definitely after), as it's a long wait to see the paediatrician so best to get the ball rolling. Take a list of concerns with you so you don't forget anything during the appointment. Health visitors usually take a 'wait and see' approach and I don't think this is always helpful.

Complete the MCHAT and see how your son scores - https://www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child#:~:text=Instructions%20for%20Taking%20and%20Scoring,and%2030%20months%20of%20age.

Get the More Than Words book by Fern Sussman. Here is a PDF of the first chapter of an older version, it really resonated with me - https://courses.washington.edu/sop/ArticLang/MoreThanWordsChap1.PDF. You can find the latest version on Amazon.

If you can afford it, contact a private speech and language therapist - some do an initial free phone consultation. If you can't commit to ongoing therapy, maybe think about getting an initial assessment done at least. I know this is not cheap though. You can search for a local therapist here - https://asltip.com.

Does he go to nursery? If so, have they said anything?

Look up 'intensive interaction' and try doing this a few times for a little while throughout the day.

One thing I would say is don't give up hope, my DD is still not talking yet but has made a lot of progress in her own way, especially communicating more and more via hand leading.