Hi all,
We have a 4.5 year old who has recently started school and also had a new sibling arrive (all in the same week). Unfortunately after the birth of our daughter, she was in the NICU for a week so I was pretty much hospital bound and my husband travelled back and forth to spend time with me and baby and also be home for when our son got home from school and to take him again the next morning. I was able to get home for first day at school and a couple of other periods of time and when we were all together we made a massive effort to make the time all about our first born.
Anyway, baby sister has been home just over 2 weeks now and a week into her being here, our son started with a sleep regression.
He's always been a great kid to put to bed, he listens to his yoto and we lay with him for 5/10 minutes and then say good night and he falls asleep soon after. He will occasionally get up on the night but we usually just walk him back to bed with no problems or arguments and he goes back to sleep. He has a grow clock and fully understands the concept.
In the last week, bedtimes have become an hour long battle (on a good day) and it comprises of multiple toilet trips (he will just keep repeating that he needs the toilet if you tell him no, ignore him etc) then he will just sit up in bed and grunt, kick his legs and say he doesn't want to go to sleep. We say we won't lay with him, he responds by telling us to leave, when we do, he shouts and screams. We have tried gentle parenting, asking him what he's feeling (mostly responds with a grunt or tells us he's feeling like he doesn't want to go to sleep 😳🙄), shouting at him, bargaining with him. We've tried treat jars with a goal for when it's full, taking things away etc. The only thing that has any impact is telling him he is going in the car (no idea why this sends him into a frenzy) usually just taking him downstairs and putting my shoes on is enough for him to say he wants to go to bed but sometimes I have to put him in the car. We don't drive anywhere and he usually just screams and shouts in the car while we tell him he's loved etc but that this is not acceptable behaviour.
Once he's finally asleep, it's fine until, he wakes in the night, and the whole process starts again. Inevitably, he doesn't wake the same time as the baby so we are tag teaming between night feeds and the 4.5 year old and it's exhausting. We've tried one of us getting in bed with him and offering him to get in ours and both these work but only until he wakes the next time and then it's game over, noone is getting anymore sleep past about 4:30 in the morning.
I know all this is normal when a sibling comes along but Im looking for others that have been through it to help me see light at the end of the tunnel. How long roughly should we expect this to last? Any tips etc to help us get through or to help our son cope with the stress of all the changes?
He currently sleeps in a loft bed but it's flipped over so it's a lower down bed. We have talked about flipping it so it's a loft bed so he has a new novelty at bedtime that may help him want to go to bed and stay in it. Will this work does anyone think or just cause more stress due to more change?