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DD10 change in behaviour

4 replies

ckjhtt · 16/09/2023 00:27

New to MN and first post! Sorry it's quite long!

DD10 has recently started year 6.

Throughout her life, she has performed well in most things including her education. She seemed happy and motivated to do well.

However, over the last few years (since the first COVID lockdown), I have seen a change in her behaviour and was wondering if it is normal or likely due to hormonal changes or whether it is something we need to explore more?

She had a pretty rubbish year 5 as just did not get on with the teacher. It got to the point where every single morning there was an argument with her refusing to get up, crying and me basically having to drag her to school, then not sleeping at night due to the worrying. She was constantly complaining to me about her teacher treating her unfairly, other children bullying her etc. Her progress slowed with her school work. She refused to do homework. I did speak with the school and was reassured things were fine but it’s really hard to believe when she came home so upset. She has a small group of close friends but prefers to do things alone most of the time, she hates being partnered up with other children in class.

Over the last 6 months or so, she has become increasingly sensitive to noise and light, to the point she cannot stand in a room with more than a few people talking or where all of the lights are on/too bright. She gets extremely overwhelmed at things she would previously have been fine with. Her moods change regularly (day by day) and I never know what to expect. There have been times where she has been unkind to her younger brother (8) which there have been consequences for. Her eating has also become quite restricted, only accepting a small variety of ‘safe’ foods and having to smell everything before eating it.

We recently visited some secondary schools in the area and she has her heart set on one that we are just outside the catchment area for. The one in our catchment area she states that she hates and is point blank not going to attend if she gets allocated there, even though most of her class will probably go there. She has become quite anxious about it all, repeatedly asking about when she will find out etc.

Just looking for advice from anyone that may have been in a similar situation on whether this is a normal ‘phase’ for this age or whether it would be worth discussing with her GP? What are they likely to say/recommend? I try my best to support her and work through her worries and I don’t want to cause her any extra stress unnecessarily by ‘medicalising’ things, but I’m at the end of my tether and don’t know what else to do..

Thanks in advance for any helpful advice Smile

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ckjhtt · 16/09/2023 01:17

Bumping just to add that when we are home she spends most of her time in her room playing games/reading/watching films/using her tablet (with screen time limits). Not interested in socialising with us much downstairs unless for specific reasons/we have guests. Not keen on doing much with her weekends - would rather stay in than go on days out unless it is something that really interests her. I do ask her every weekend what she would like to do but she often just says 'nothing' and asks he to close her bedroom door 😔

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 16/09/2023 13:29

I know this gets trotted out a lot on MN bit she does sound like my DD who is being assessed for ASD.

The safe foods, the anxiety abc the problems sleeping all sound too familiar.

Have a read about ARFID and see if that explains her eating.

ckjhtt · 16/09/2023 13:40

Thank you for reply.

How old is your DD? I am thinking about whether to ask GP for a referral to CAMHS but worried as the waiting lists are so long. Would like to get to the bottom of it before secondary school but know there's a chance we won't.

I have had a look at ARFID and she does seem to have some of those traits, but have seen that it usually develops secondary to something else (autism/ADD etc). I guess I have probably answered my own question and should ask GP for advice, just feels like I've failed her and run out of options to help her myself 🥺

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 16/09/2023 17:39

I think at 10 you need to have a chat with her about the possibility that her anxiety might stem from being wired slightly differently and that she could go for an assessment but that might take a while.

My DD's ARFID is definitely linked to ASD. The sooner you get her on the waiting list, the sooner she'll be seen.

And you've not failed her. HCPs totally miss ASD in girls, even when they're presenting with a lot of traits.

I'd also have nosey around the SN Children section on MN. There are some very experienced and helpful MNers in there. They might be able to help, particularly with the choice of High School Flowers

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