This year DS5.5 started hitting us and lashing out physically when he doesn’t get his own way. I notice it’s worse when he’s tired, or hungry. We have worked on strategies - ‘use your words’ ‘walk away’ ‘hit a pillow’. Connecting and redirecting (getting to his level and being compassionate, hug etc). He’s kept doing it so now we’ve decided to pivot, and try zero tolerance - he gets a very firm and loud ‘NO’ and end up with a grumpy parent, as it is wearing us down. I’ve read all sorts of things like that it’s normal at this age due to testosterone surges, brain still forming etc., and that it’s not normal and that he’s too old.
DP and I have always had a very close, loving relationship with him and he’s a lovely, intelligent boy. But I’ve noticed he’s starting to test me - this morning he got into bed and started elbowing me subtly and pushing his knee into me - of course I called him out on it immediately and he said he needs more room. Why is he doing this?! It worries me and I don’t think these micro-aggressions are normal behaviour. Yet I don’t think he has ASD, ADHD etc. Anyone experienced this? Is it a phase? Tips on stamping it out?