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Girl only wants to be friends with boys - anyone else?

6 replies

Atissue123 · 09/09/2023 20:23

DD is 11, just started year 7. In primary she had a handful of friends, some boys and some girls. None especially close until the end when she became quite friendly with a nice boy for a few months.

Shes just started year 7 and befriended 4 boys immediately ‘in a gang’ so she says. They sound nice. I am pleased she’s happy and has made some friends quickly but I can’t help feeling she purposefully rejects girls for one reason or another.

She’s certainly not a ‘girly girl’ she likes action, Adrenalin sports, Lego and Minecraft. She’s also funny and has no interest in clothes / appearance currently. She shows no interest in wanting to actually be a boy but appears only really to enjoy playing / socializing with them. She also prefers none girly clothes, won’t wear dresses etc but is happy to wear a bra etc so doesn’t seem embarrassed about her female body.

my question is - does anyone’s DD also choose actively to only (or mostly!) be friends with boys? She’s at a mixed school, we know a lot of girls already there and she has actively seemed to distance herself and move towards ‘new boys’ who she doesn’t know after initially befriending some girls she knew a little before starting. She hung around with them on the open days and now had ditched them for boys.

She has had the odd female friend before but certainly never been in a girl group and the friends she’s had have never been very close.

Id like to hear other’s’ experiences. Personally I had both female and male friends but never hung out with all boys, it was a mixture and it worries me a little the boys may not invite her to things as they grow older (this happened in primary quite a bit) but often she was invited to all boys parties.

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/09/2023 08:21

I hung around with boys until I was older but im pretty sure I'm ND, both DC are. I couldn't really understand all of the social cues for close friendships with many girls at that age and found hanging out with boys simpler and more enjoyable.

thelma57 · 10/09/2023 13:05

I’m not sure why it matters as long as she is happy? Lots of girls don’t have traditional interests and she sounds like a happy, healthy child. Also, she’s only 11 and might change her interest and friendships overnight!

I understand worrying she might get left out but that hasn’t happened yet?

As long as she has strong female role models and women to talk to about female health etc she’ll be grand!

I had mainly male friends growing up as I found it easier and simpler!

Scirocco · 10/09/2023 15:32

I had mostly boys as friends around that age. We had more shared interests and less drama. I think I've turned out ok and at no point have I ever thought I was a boy!

Fairydustxox · 10/09/2023 18:38

I was the same I hung around with boys. I found them easier to get on with and there was no drama like there was with other girls.
I was also not interested in girly clothes or make up, I don't think I started wearing make up until I was 15/16 and even then it was only minimal

madeinuppsala · 05/10/2023 23:40

My 11 year old daughter is exactly the same. She only had male friends at primary and all playdates, parties and sleepovers were with boys. She has moved to secondary and she said tonight that she is worried that she is loving secondary school but prefers the company of boys. She said likes the girls as individuals but 'I prefer to hang out with boys'. She said she likes the jokes and has the same SOH. Her two big interests are football and lego. She is great friends with the girls in her football team but they are not at her school. My 18 yo daughter said the girls at secondary might not like her for hanging out only with boys and this is worrying her and me.

Atissue123 · 06/10/2023 10:09

@madeinuppsala since I wrote this post my DD has befriended a girl! I am really pleased for her. She now hangs out with 2 boys and another girl, who sounds very much like her (into football, lego etc) and she is very happy. I am thinking perhaps I didn't need to worry, she just needed to find her gang and hopefully your DD will do too...the difference seems that my DD was never once worried about 'not hanging out with girls' she doesn't care about the judgement of others it was just me that was worrying about that.

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