"We don't play with girls..."

[Fillyjonk]

says one of ds's little cronies.

He is 5, ds is 4.

I feel uncomfortable with this. I don't think its ok to exclude someone from a game on any grounds, and I don't want to condone it.

I also have a dd who is distraught at this idea that she can't play with her brother because she is a girl.

Thoughts?

I have two sons who stopped playing with girls shortly after starting school.

It seems almost universal for the boys and girls to separate into different groups at that age.

Perhaps explain the difference between simply choosing not to play with someone and actually saying something excluding and upsetting to them?

I wouldn't try to interfere with the movement away from girls. They have to choose their own playmates.

Brother and sister friendships are totally different though. Leaving girls alone in general wouldn't mean leaving sister out.

don't mind choosing their own playmates at all, they do

what I mind is excluding girls becuase they are girls

Just as I'd be annoyed if a kid was exluded for any reason, say red hair.

Oh golly, FJ.

This is so hard.

FWIW my elder sister played with the boys in our street, and wouldn't include me at all - it wasn't just a case of boys vs girls.

It was upsetting. But I guess she needed her space?

Perhaps if you could help dd find another friend to muck about with, instead...or do something special with her...it is hard being rejected by one's own sibling.

I am close to my sister now, though. She feels really guilty!!!

But there is such a powerful natural tendency at this age for girls and boys to separate. It is very striking.

aaaargh ok...the trouble is, this is happening in an organised group situation where both boys and girls are present

that is why I am not sure how to deal with it

its not just in my own house, I can deal with THAT, tbh

Thready, ds comes home saying 'pink is for girls' regularly.

Makes me !

lol, ds would be furious if I stopped him wearing his beloved pink...

Hmm difficult.

I suppose it comes down to reminding them to be friendly and kind to whoever is present, regardlesss of private feelings. I would say 'Nothing wrong with preferring to play with boys but Sally is here and wants to play.'

Aha. School again Filly

I have pictures of him last year wearing a

tutu

yes this is a fabulous book

just rather hard to apply to other peoples kids, iykwim...

fpc, you know what to do, don't you...

ok but look, i am STILL having these provlems

Ooh thankyou for the link, that looks smashing.

I know.
I know.

I will wrack my brains for you. How about making out girls are super cool, somehow...get her a power ranger costume and they might suddenly 'need' her in their games...?