I will start this by saying I do not condone my son's behaviour and I remain mortified and sorry for all involved.
DS is 6, was diagnosed as Autistic after an ADOS assessment in November last year, and has finally been referred to CAMHS by a behaviour support worker in school. Maybe this should be on an SEN board but here I am. This may be long winded.
He attends a holiday club setting most holiday/ half terms and has been going since late 2021. Almost every time he has attended there have been concerns raised regarding his behaviour and communication. I have addressed those concerns with DS and have, and still am, following behaviour management plans and suggestions given to me by school SENCO, ed psych, paediatrician, speech and language therapist and those that I have researched myself.
I was looking to book him on again for October half term, usually done by a portal, but this was not working so I emailed the owner. They responded to advise that they had been away for the summer but the staff at the setting had raised concerns regarding DS's behaviour over the summer including:
- Throwing toys at other children
- swearing
- using middle finger
- kicking and being physically violent
- hitting staff members
- threatening to shoot a member of staff in front of children
They went on to say that the staff had tried to talk to me about this on a number of occasions and that as the incidents had occurred on a daily basis and the staff and children were essentially at risk, DS will not be allowed to return to the club.
Sadly we were only ever informed about the 'shooting' incident, none of the others and therefore how would I have addressed these with DS specifically.
I agree that the safety of others is paramount and why the owner has needed to make this decision. I am however now lost. I am upset for DS that his level of social and emotional ability means he behaves this way. I am upset with myself, what more could I be doing to stop this and I am upset with the lack of support available in school and at home.
I remain determined to ensure that DS leads a good balanced life and that others remain non at risk of harm. But what can I do ? I work full time and so does DP. What other holiday club could we possibly access, I'm sure we'd have to tell them that DS had been banned from one, but then again, I'd be knowingly putting others at risk ?!
If anyone has any suggestions on who I can speak to, what support we could access, behaviour management. Anything. I have always remained open and ready to listen.
TIA.