5 week old baby, now totally gone off sleeping in crib.

[AngeChica]

Hi, my DS is nearly 5 weeks old and for the first 2 or 3 weeks of his life he would nap and sleep fairly well in his moses basket. After my MIL came to stay I let her cuddle up with him a lot and he napped on her.

Now he spends little or no time in there, and will only sleep on me or DH - if I put him down he stirs within 10 or if I'm lucky 20 minutes. I do swaddle him in there as he is very big (was nearly 11 lb at birth and is now over 12 lb). I feel he is just about too big for the basket and intend to start using his cot instead.

I just feel that unless DH is home I cannot do anything much for myself. I have got a moby wrap sling this week, it helps soothe him and I let him sleep in that in the daytime, but am worried he is going in there too much. I do get my hands free to do some things though. At night he co-sleeps with me in the spare bed. Again, if I and try move him to the basket after feeds he doesn't settle.

Have I made a rod for my own back with this or can he be easily encouraged back to sleeping in a cot? It's just if I keep putting him down and resettling him, he gets grumpy from not enough sleep and we have bad evenings (he likes to have 2 or 3 longish naps a day).

HV says do what is necessary to ensure we are both rested, esp as I have been recovering from a nasty c section. I know looking after him is meant to be full on right now but just feel that if I can get a couple of breaks in the daytime I can at least feel a bit more human. He feeds a lot in the daytime and can be very grouchy after feeds with wind so it is hard going.

any advice gratefully received.

it is a hard stage. definitely try to transfer him to his cot and just do whatever you can to settle him. even if he ends up sleeping on you at least he wont be so grumpy in the evening. grab what you can. if you can bear a little moan or two he might settle himself quite quickly but i know how hard it is at that age. try to encourage better feeds so he is more full if you can too but at that age it is almost impossible. the phase will pass. it is just veyr very hard. lotsof sympathies to you. i ahve been there twice and it DOES get better i promise.

you poor thing, it is grim wiht a new born til about 12 weeks if I recall correctly. But each week will get better and any trend he falls into now can so easily be changed when you ahve the energy to do so. we rocked ds to sleep until he was 8 months old and managed to change that habit in one tough night, that's all it took. I think your HV sounds very sensible, do what you need to in order to cope.
I don't think they can be in a sling too much if it comforts them. I am pg again now and plan to have my lo in a sling so that I can do stuff with ds.

Ange - I went through this exactly the same as you at exactly the same time, and we've come out of it the other side so don't despair!

The thing that did it for us was swaddling - although DS hated being swaddled at first, when we tried it a few weeks later, it turned out to be the only thing that would make him settle. Now we've graduated from swaddling him to putting him in a grobag with his arms inside (cruel, but he looks so cute!).

Also, I don't know if you've tried this, but maybe use a dummy? Many many times DS has half woken, then had a few sucks on his dummy (if it hasn't fallen out - MAM ones are best for staying in I've found!) and gone straight back to sleep again.

If you're co-sleeping sometimes, how are you doing it? Is your DS asleep on your chest? At first that's how my DS would sleep, then I graduated from asleep on my chest to asleep at my side on his back so he can still hear and smell me, but is getting used to lying on his back and not having direct contact.

Another thing that may help him settle is if you wear a t-shirt for a day or two and out it over the moses basket mattress so there's no bits sticking out (i.e. it acts like a sheet) and try putting DS to bed on it - that way he can still smell you.

Hope this helps - some of it did, and some of it didn't work with mine, but every one is different

cheers. He doesn't lie on me at night - he lies next to me in his grobag - so I think at least he is getting used to sleeping. Do you put him in the grobag for his daytime naps as well? i do use a dummy, sometimes it seems to actually keep him from sleeping though, he lies there for ages chomping on it and fighting sleep! but will try your suggestions for sure...

I didn't think of putting ds in his grobag to sleep until he was 6 months old and couldn't believe the difference once it occurred to me. Definitely try it, ds slept much longer and better during the day in it too

thank you. i tried the grobag with arms inside, he slept for 3 two-hour stretches in his moses basket last night so great going!

well done, you must feel so much better. Remember tiny steps, keep surviving a day (or rather night) at a time, before long he'll be 12 weeks and you'll wonder where the time's gone

am going to try arms in the growbag tonight!! sounds like a plan!