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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

A question for parents of girls with long hair

63 replies

PrettyCandles · 01/03/2008 21:39

At what age could your dd brush her own hair reliably, and at what age could she style it herself (I mean a style suitable for school, eg properly parted and gathered into bunches, or plaited).

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Gingerbear · 01/03/2008 22:05

My mum used to give me a 'Croydon Facelift' with a plait so tight and high, I used to look surprised and in tears at the same time.
(I hope I don't do this to DD??, maybe that is why she complains so much!)

Gingerbear · 01/03/2008 22:06

Agree re combing - wide toothed comb easier for thick hair.

duchesse · 01/03/2008 22:09

Erm...10? Possibly 9. Certainly not sooner than that. Had to brush their hair for them until they were at least 7 or it never got brushed properly..

purpleduck · 01/03/2008 22:26

GINGERBEAR
My dd is 6, and we used to have fights about brushing her hair... I now use LOTS of conditioner at night in the bath, and put it in 2 plaits. Now we don't have the arguement about blowdying OR tangles in the morning.
It does make her hair kinky, but she likes it. Also, because it had dried with the parting down flat, it tends to stay flatter during the day.

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 01/03/2008 22:53

Thanks!

I myself had long hair as a child, but I can't remember when I was able to style it myself. I suspect that mum plaited it for me until I went to secondary school, at which point she let me style it as I wished.

Detangling spray, using an afro comb or similar for the tangles, and leaving the hair in plaits overnight - all things I do to dd as well.

I often give dd a deliberately zigzag parting, as it's easier than a straight parting and doesn't need to be perfect to look good. She gets a lot of compliments for it, as do I for my handiwork. "How do you find the time?" Haha, they don't know it's faster than doing (and redoing, and redoing) a straight parting! Might work for a double crown?

OP posts:

mynaughtylittlesister · 01/03/2008 22:57

I have a DD who is 7 and she does her hair perfectly, in pony tails, bunches and has even tried to plait her own hair!

BUT I have a DD who is 10 who hates doing her own hair, cries when I insist on brushing it etc,

TBH I think it is up to the individual child.

mummyoffrankie · 02/03/2008 20:28

dd 7 no chance doing own hair as is thick and curly, we have to plait it every night before bed otherwise completely unmanagable in morning and would never get to school before 10...

suedonim · 02/03/2008 20:46

Good grief, am very impressed with all these hair-proficient girls! Dd is 11 and still can't brush her own, waist-length hair properly. She just can't do the back and it ends up all matted, like that fuzzy bit they get when they're babies. I'm resigned to being her coiffurist for ever.

bozza · 02/03/2008 20:56

I can't imagine DD ever being able to do her own hair but she is only 3. Her hair is shoulder length (being grown since birth), fine, wavy, flyaway and although she doesn't have a double crown the one she does have is way over to one side.

I have just about come to terms with sorting out her hair although she is currently going through a phase of coming up with weird and wonderful styles she wants to try out. But nobody else seems to be able to manage it so if she ever goes to stay with grandparents or whatever she always comes home with a bird's nest. DH can do a side parting and clip, or headband style.

smartiejake · 02/03/2008 21:20

One girl I used to teach always came to school with the most perect plaits I have ever seen, pigtail and single ones.

Wasn't till she came away on school journey with us that I realise she was able to do it HERSELF. She was 10!

DD1 (11)can brush her own hair and put it into ponytails and pigtails but still struggles to dry it herself.

Sugarmagnolia · 03/03/2008 02:04

wow this is a real shocker for me because dd is not quite 7 yet and been doing her own hair for about a year now! She has long, straight, fine hair - and a the dreaded double crown - and can reliably brush her hair and put in a ponytail - although because of the double crown it has to be a low one.

If she wants a high ponytail, two bunches or plaits then I have to do it for her. To be honest I would be happy to do it for her but she's so independent I'm lucky if she lets me near it more than once a week. I do insist on doing it myself if it's for parties/ballet etc.

And BTW, how DO you do those ballet bunches because I'm going to have to learn that one pretty soon?

Smithagain · 03/03/2008 11:27

Am a bit worried now, as I've been letting DD1 go to school after doing her own ponytail. She's 5. It's not perfect, but it's up and out of the way and I reckon it's teaching her independence or something! If everyone else is doing their girls' hair, her teacher probably thinks I'm totally incompetent with a hairbrush

I do it if we are going somewhere really important or on school photograph day.

MonnowCyclist · 03/03/2008 18:44

My DDs have hair below their shoulders and have been doing their own brushing & neat pony tails since about 6. If they want plaits they ask me - I wish they would ask for help with bunches as the back can look somewhat random but having got them independent am loathe to put them off

geekgirl · 03/03/2008 18:57

dd1 is 8 and i let her do her own hair styles for school (within reason) because I can't be arsed / am just as rubbish at it as an 8 year old, really

Her hair is shoulder length.

notsurereally · 03/03/2008 19:30

Interesting ! was just wondering about this recently; dd1 is 9 and can do a pony tail but not a plait (straight hair half way down her back). She is fairly reliable with a hairdrier too.

Izzybel · 03/03/2008 19:57

Can't really add what age DD did her hair at as she is only 9 months old but I was 8 when I started to do my own hair and my own french plaits [smug]. Mum was useless at doing hair and I hated anyone else playing with it. Mind you, it has always benn very straight, so not difficult to manage so might have been more difficult if it was curly!

RubyRioja · 03/03/2008 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eowyn · 03/03/2008 20:13

Must get detangling spray, thanks for that. Mine is 7 & can do a very messy ponytail, has fine hair that tangles faster than you can blink, I'm the same & well remember my mum cutting out chunks of tangle in despair..

nooka · 03/03/2008 20:29

dd (7 and in yr2) has just had hers cut into a bob and it is fantastic! No more fights over hairbrushing, no more unpicking bird's nests, no more searching the house for the detangler spray... It also look smuch nicer as dd's hair previously was inclined to tangle within seconds of brushing (possibly associated with her love of sweet sticky things ). She attempted to brush it and put it into a bunch before that, but it looked terrible, unless we got all the tangles out after washing and plaited it overnight. Now she can do it all herself, and it actually looks nice!

dylsmum1998 · 03/03/2008 21:24

lol interesting thread, was wondering this myself although dd is only 22 months, so she wont be doing it just yet. although she does like to give me hairbands/clips and point to where she wants me to put them- we have some interesting styles lol. she has long straight hair, almost half way down her back

cece · 03/03/2008 21:30

DD has long fine hair and is just learning to do a pony tail at the moment. It is a bit hit and miss. She is 6. She can brush it OK but only if you want the side bits done. Forgets to do the bakc and leaves out the tangled bits

Wotz · 03/03/2008 21:38

I think you can tell the dcs that try themselves and good on them. I am not too concerned what others might think.

I am all for the, let them have a go themselves and try not to fuss division. It's hair and hair up, that doesn't get nits is fine in my book however it is done.

Belgianchocolates · 03/03/2008 22:59

at all those 6yo that are doing their own hair. My dd is 5 and I can't imagine her being able to do her own hair by next year all she's able of at the moment is combing it all forward and sticking a few clips in, how to keep hairbands in is still a mystery to her.
Her hair is v. fine as well and her crown is a bit over to the side and she doesn't seem to have a natural parting. She NEVER has a straight line when she has 2 pony(pig?)tails and doing plaits with it is a nightmare just because it's so fine it goes a bit everywhere and I loose track where I am.
My own mum was c* at doing hair and therefore her solution was to have it cut chin length most of my childhood . Mind you, we didn't have rules about what to do with hair in my country and most of my friends had it loose anyway. I'm pretty sure though that I could do a good ponytail at 10 (that's when I started growing it after lengthy discussions with my mum about combing and making sure there wont be any knots whatsoever or it would come straight back off).
Oh and could anyone explain the difference between pigtails and ponytails? I've noticed that these seem to be 2 different kinds of things.

Sugarmagnolia · 04/03/2008 07:13

I always thought a ponytail was 1 and pigtails were 2. I also thought pigtails and bunches were the same thing (pigtails being an American word and bunches being the British one) although it seems that ballet bunches are a different thing all together....?

mrsshackleton · 04/03/2008 11:29

Oh help I am totally intimidated by all you hairdressers
I haven't a clue how to do dd's hair (she's 3) and whenever I try to put it in bunches or pony tails she always looks like a mad gypsy woman, Whenever our nanny does it she looks gorgeous. Mind you I can't do my own either, my mum never taught me. Any tips on how to do a pony tail - I can't even put a slide in properly! Feel totally inadequate now and know the only answer is to have it all cut off which would be a shame

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