Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Why are my kids so destructive, how do I get them to stop?

1 reply

Lafoosa · 30/08/2023 12:56

I've got 3 kids, 5, 3 and 16 months.

The older two are SO destructive, constantly breaking everything, trashing everything, always incredibly loud and never listen to a single thing I say.

I'm so sick of the noise, constantly having to repeat myself, having to shout at them because they refuse to listen if I'm asking nicely. I hate having to be the sort of parent that yells all the time, but I could ask 1000 times in 1000 different nice, polite, calm ways and yet I'm ignored or they just say no. It doesn't matter what I'm asking, it could be something they'd actually like to do or something they asked to do, they won't do it and just roll their eyes at me unless I'm shouting at them.

They break so much stuff, just today they've broken a coat hook that was drilled into the wall, pulled the entire thing off. They broke my wardrobe, a plate. Yesterday they broke both of their Etch a sketch, completely tore a book apart and then emptied out all the toys onto the floor and didn't even play with them.

I do things with them all the time, we're always doing crafts, games, going out to the park, beach, visiting relatives, etc. It's not boredom.

On top of the destructiveness and absolute refusal to listen, they are SO loud all the time. Everything they say is shouting, if I ask them to use indoor voices they start whispering for 5 seconds and are back to shouting again. I can't cope with the noise all the time, it's too much. They get right up in my face to say things too so I'm constantly having my face shouted in just for them to show me a drawing or ask a question. I'm tired of it.

Whenever we go out I see other people's kids being well behaved, not yelling constantly, not trying to run into roads, not throwing themselves on the ground, actually listening to their parents.

What am I doing wrong, how have I managed to make two not very nice children? I don't mean that in a mean way, I love them to death. But they have absolutely no respect for anyone or anything around them, and literally never do what they're told.

I've tried absolutely every method in the gentle parenting books, nothing works

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SJB30 · 11/09/2023 21:08

I'm really sorry that I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to say you are not alone. I love my kids so much but every single day is a struggle, all they do is shout , be destructive and are just on a full on war path all the time. It's such a sensory overload for me and I often have to take a time out before it feels like my head will explode with their none stop shouting.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page