Out of control 8 year old

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My 8 year old DD is incredibly difficult. She back chats, shouts, screams and hits daily. School don't have any concerns but I have spoken to the dr. He said it sounds behavioural rather than adhd/autism etc. I'm struggling!!! She has a 10 yr old sister and they constantly argue, but my 8 year old is quick to hit, shout, scream almost 3-4 times a day. Even if one of us look at her in a way she considers wrong, she was lash out. It's like walking on egg shells. It's not a new thing, and has been going on for years. Like I've already mentioned, I've spoken and logged it with the dr but how can I help her? I've tried using class dojo and rewarding points- turning them into pocket money etc but what can I do about the hitting and shouting? We've done time out but she is nearly 8 and I don't know if it's working!

You must be really struggling if you've been to the GP. I'm a bit surprised by their answer, without doing an assessment how do they know it's not ASD/ADHD?

I'd start by doing this SLT progress checker. We only realised later that our DD could talk and understand but had a few issues with being able to express how she felt. If it says, you answered no to some important questions, they have a helpline that you can call.

If the naughty step isn't working, have you tried any of the tactics in the Explosive Child?

Does she have any other issues, like friendships or food? Have you had a read of how ASD presents in girls?

I'd also talk to the school again, our DD behaved in Primary school and they totally missed that she has ASD & ADHD. Talk to her new Teacher, tell her your concerns and ask their SENCO to assess DD.

She has no issues with food etc or friends as such, but she doesn't have close friendships. She plays with whoever and is seen as 'fun' I think but seems to bounce round friends.

I do think she has adhd or ASD and will keep mentioning at parents eves etc but my issue is, the process is so long and I need strategies for home now and nothing seems to work. Should I continue with the time out? Is it a minute for their age so 8 mins?

I feel she masks and then explodes with us in her safe zone. I'll look at the explosive child. It is like an explosion a few times a day. So hard and I cannot believe how she talks to me when she answers back. It's shocking and I don't know how to handle it. It's hurtful

I do think she has adhd or ASD and will keep mentioning at parents eves etc but my issue is, the process is so long and I need strategies for home now and nothing seems to work. Should I continue with the time out? Is it a minute for their age so 8 mins?

Time out didn't work for us at all with DD. In fact none of the discipline strategies developed for NT DC worked on our ND DD.

Hopefully the strategies in the Explosive Child will help.

Don't want until Parent's Evening either to mention your concerns. I'd read as much as you can on ASD in Girls and talk to the Teacher as soon as you can.

Can I ask what strategies work for you? I know a label or assessment won't help me 'in the moment'