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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

help my 15 month old hates nursery

14 replies

worknot · 29/02/2008 22:53

I have just started a full time 5 days a week job this week,i had to put my 15month old in nursery,dd does not like it at all. everytime dd screams and cries calling out for me to take dd i always leave crying to becuase i just feel so bad like i'm failing dd. Also when ever my ds picks dd up, dd is always sad and crying too, it's really bad. dd is not a cry baby never has been dd is an very easy child. dd 2nd day at nursery was one of the worst when i picked dd up we got home dd cried for 1 hour solid with out a break dd wouldn't let me carry her, dd was on the floor rolling and screaming, i didn't know what to do i started crying becuase it was too painful to watch.
I am starting to think that it might be the nursery should i change i thought of using a child minder part time so dd gets a break from nursery sometimes.
help please i am even crying writing this i don't know what to do i just want my happy baby back, dd just looks really sad and sometimes i feel like dd angry at me for leaving

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Original poster

worknot · 29/02/2008 22:55

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mishymoo · 29/02/2008 22:57

I really feel for you but I really do think you need to give her a bit more time to settle in. It took my DS about a month to settle properly. He was 14 months when he started 5 mornings a week for first month and then 4.5 full days from then on. He also used to cry when I left him but nursery staff assured me that he was fine about 5/10 minutes after I left. He absolutely loves it now and I am glad I didn't take him out!

Original poster

worknot · 29/02/2008 23:16

thank you for your thoughts, you really think she will settle? the nursery at the moment don't have that many kids so sometimes she is there alone with the staff so i was thinking that might be why she gets even more sad because if there were kids there every day then she would feel better, i don't know

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mishymoo · 29/02/2008 23:19

Is it a new nursery? Is that why there aren't many kids? If she is there on her own with the staff, what are they doing to keep her busy?

dippydeedoo · 29/02/2008 23:36

its quite common at first ,its a whole new experience i should think that in the net few days she will 'connect'with a member of staff and become happier -i dont think she can be upset all day tbh im sure nursery would have told you as it really is hardwork with continually crying little ones- i suspect a lots going on for your dd she may be teething,feeling out of sorts anyway and having to contend with a whole new routine too......you have to give it a little while longer to be sure,dont beat yourself up about it either ,its very hard isnt it xxxx

Original poster

worknot · 29/02/2008 23:44

yes it a new nursery and yes i no ur right in that she will get use to it but its so hard for me too as well as her everyday i feel like my heart is being reapt to pieces i don't no how 2 stop crying 2

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dippydeedoo · 29/02/2008 23:46

worknot its very early days hun you are feeling raw bcos you are blaming youself that shes upset and you arent with her ,lots of mums face this and each and every one of us has felt like this ......it will get better hun x

Original poster

worknot · 29/02/2008 23:51

thank you it helps to know some mums too have experienced the same

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dippydeedoo · 01/03/2008 00:02

worknot in a way i had it twice as bad -our ds2 was at home with his dad(who worked nights) whilst i was in nursery consoling children new to the routine whilst also offering support to the mums .....i dreadfully missed ds2 and mostly took him to wor with me paying a daily fee so he was an actual pupil instead of just dees baby ....the joy of working mums

Original poster

worknot · 01/03/2008 09:00

i really take hat off to all working mums, its really hard.
Another thing is, the nursery staff work in shifts (half days),in the mornings its one group then in the afternoon it's another, i was told that that there is 1 member of staff she is closer to but then they have to leave in the afternoon which upsets her even more

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Nemoandthefishes · 01/03/2008 09:11

aww its hard isnt it but she could be overtired from all of a sudden being out at nursery all day. Plus it does take a while to settle. My daughters[2.2 and 14mths] go to nursery for 2 sessions a week and they started that first week in dec and it is only the past week or so they havent cried going in although they both cry as soon as they see me at going home time[will be playing happily as I can see them through the window].
What have the nursery said is she settled in the day? Is she sleeping etc?

Original poster

worknot · 01/03/2008 09:43

not really, on her second day she did not sleep at all so she was up for 12hrs without anysleep i guess thats why she cried for a whole hr when i brought her home non stop, now she takes 30min naps which is a big chg 4 her as she is use to 2hr naps in the day

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Nemoandthefishes · 01/03/2008 09:50

Has she only done this week? I would leave it and maybe speak to workers about her sleeping etc. I tell them when either of dds are tired and ask them to try to get them to rest.

Original poster

worknot · 01/03/2008 10:03

yes this was her first week

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